The One Where I Try to Win Stuff

I PROMISE the Christmas post will be tomorrow. PROMISE

I'm not really what I would call a winner. I won $100 bucks once in a scratch off lottery ticket, and a small refrigerator and some give-aways here and there... but I know people who are WAY bigger winners, like Kat's husband Michael.

SO... in an effort to be more of a winner, I'm letting you know about the following:

#1 - JDM (I'm so into abbreviations today...) is giving away a bunch of stuff:

I've got my eye on the chocolate cause I need that like a hole in my arse!!!!!

#2 - Kat is having the last of her weekly giveaways. And I don't even have the disc space to show you what all she's giving away!! It's all you need for a family fun night (or two) including:Seriously - click on the link and go see all the fun you won't be having cause I'M gonna WIN, dang nabbit!!!!!

#3 - The SITS girls are giving away a Keurig coffee brewer thingy... and I really want to win it for my mom. She's wanting one SO badly and I sure can't float the cash for it. So... please oh ye Great Gods of Giveaways, shine down on your humble servant.

#4 - Finding Normal is having a blogiversary party too... and I would love to win one of her awesome pendants. And i told her I want one that says "ever after" but the first time I said "ever fater" and I think I'm going to laugh about that ALL. DAY. LONG.

Now, just because this kind of post doesn't invite a lot of comments and I NEED comment lovin today, I want to know about what you would do differently if you were getting married now, knowing what you know now......

Just a Laugh

Sorry for the silence... Mom is here and driving me nuts.

I'll post a Christmas recap tomorrow, when I can get the pictures on.

So in the meantime I'll give you a fun little Gert story from yesterday.

G - Mommy, who was the first person on earth?

M - Adam

G - Who was the second person on earth?

M - Eve

G - Who was the third?

M - Cain

G - Who was the fourth?

M - Abel

G - Who was the fifth?

M - Seth

G - Who was the sixth?

M - I don't know sweetie.

G - Who was the seventh?

M - I really don't know.

G - Who was the eighth?

M - Sweetie I just don't know.

G - Well............... what number was I?

From Us, to You

You all know the story of The Polar Express, right? Basically it boils down to Believing. In this case in Santa. If you can hear the bell ring, you believe.

Gert keeps running around the house, jingling a bell. "Mommy? Do you hear that?" "Yes, Sweetie, I do." "THAT MEANS YOU BELIEVE!!!"

Isn't THAT the faith of a child.

I do believe.

When I see a beautiful sunset... I believe.
When I hear the voice of a cheery heart... I believe.
When I behold miracle after miracle... I believe.
When I feel the gentle touch of my daughters' hands... I believe.
When I see a rainbow stretch across the sky... I believe.
When my heart feels full, despite my trials... I believe.

I believe that God so loved the world, that He gave us His only Son, that whoever Believes in Him will have eternal life. I believe that today we celebrate the birth of His Son. Jesus.

Do you hear the Bells on Christmas Day?

I do.

I believe.

Merry Christmas to you all, my dear, wonderful gifts from God.

Fitting

Once upon a time a nice lady was living in a pretty city with a view of the mountains. She was a single mom with two beautiful daughters. The Christmas season was fast approaching, and she didn't have a Christmas tree.

She was dating a wonderful man, who couldn't stand the thought of her girls and her not having a tree, so he sent some money for them to make the purchase.

The 3 Ladies went to Target (pause for proper reverence...... thank you). There was a beautiful tree that the Ladies decided was meant to be theirs. They purchased it, hauled it home, up the 2 flights of stairs to their apartment, and took it out of the box. Together they, while listening to Christmas music, put the tree together, carefully bending each branch so it looked "real." They even managed to put the lights on the tree. Oh how pretty it was. But the hour was late and so our heroine sent the beautiful daughters to bed.

She herself reclined on her couch, watching television, basking in the glow of the mutli-colored lights... it was all so intoxicating... that she fell asleep on the couch.

Only to be awakened by something pining her legs down. Her eyes flew up in terror, sure to find some maniac had broken into her home and was now attacking. However the attacker was not a man, but a tree... the beautiful new tree had taken a tipper.

She tried to right it, to no avail, and ended up resting in on the entertainment center. After several attempts to fix it with hooks and wires and such, the single mom decided to just return the derned thing. So she took the lights off, took the tree apart, and put it back in the box. Trudged down the 2 flights of stairs and drove back to Target (pause..............................)

They happily took the tree back, and the nice lady figured surely that tree was a fluke, so she just exchanged it for one just like the first.

Back in the car, to the apartment, up the stairs, in the door, out of the box. Fluff the boughs, wrap the lights, hang the ornaments. Ahhh.. perfection!!! Wake up the next morning, and the tree is standing tall! They are WINNERS!!

The next day, she and the beautiful girls returned home from their day of working and learning, and found the tree... slumped over. The victim of some horrible crime.

Looking at the tree, the beautiful, kind, sweet, loving, gentle lady said:

"Screw It"

******************************************************

In related news - my mom arrives today. I love her. She drives me nuts.

Pray.

Christmas - Mr. B style

Mr. B arrived yesterday. Because of some bad traffic he was a little late, but who cares, he got here!!! We put on our snazzy clothes and headed to my office Christmas party. The party was a blast and I'll post more about it at another time.

After the party we came back to my place, and it was time to exchange presents. MY presents were wrapped in:

Yes, you see it - FUZZY DUCK PAPER!!! Mr. B rocks!!

Okay - present # 1 - new data cards for my camera. Which was cool. But they weren't the right kind for my camera. No biggie - it was sweet of him to do.


The next present was new rechargeable batteries for my camera. But they don't fit my camera. Being a good girl, I just smiled and thanked him and would figure out how to return it later.



The next thing I opened - a new camera bag!! This was sweet... just have this little bag that barely holds my camera.


It obviously had something it it - it's was heavier than a camera bag should be. He had teased me about all kinds of different things over the last couple weeks, so I had no idea what to expect.

I didn't expect what was in it:



A brand new, Canon EOS Digital Rebel. Oh. My. Gosh.

Yes, I cried... I couldn't believe he did that. I love taking pictures and get so frustrated with my old camera! This is just... one of the best presents EVER.

Thank you Mr. B.

PS - I Love you.

A Promise is a Promise

I think I blogged about my putting The Ladies' names in the local sherriffs Angel Tree program. Friday afternoon was the day I was to go pick up the stuff. My boss let me leave an hour early so that I could get the toys and get them home and hidden before getting The Ladies.

It had been raining off and on all day, but the sun was trying to break though before it set for the day.

I was driving, thinking about all the people who had helped with The Ladies Christmas, and how much I appreciate it, but yet how much I don't want to have to rely on the kindness of strangers, and more than that, I want to BE one of those kindly strangers for someone else....

I was not totally paying attention to the world around me (other than other drivers)....

Then I saw this:

Okay.... this picture doesn't do this thing justice. It was the MOST VIVID RAINBOW EVER EVER EVER - and you can see it was a double.. but what you CAN'T see is that it was a TRIPLE!! TRIPLE RAINBOW

AND

Not only that - but it was a FULL ARCH - I could see from one side all the way to the other side... and as I was driving I was getting closer and closer to it - so much so that I was almost having to look straight up to see it.

Wanna know what was right under it?

The church... where I was to pick up the gifts.

Do you know what a rainbow is? It's a Promise from God. In the Bible it was His Promise that he would never again flood the earth. And at that moment I knew... that was His Promise to me that this would be the last time I had to make a trip like this. It was His Promise that things were going to get better.

T-6 hours 16 minutes

Til Mr. B gets here.

That's all I have to say about that.

I actually don't have much to say about anything.

The Ladies go to their Dad's tomorrow morning.

They come back Tuesday night and my mom flies in Tuesday night.

I love my mom.

She stresses me out.

I got a turkey for Christmas from my boss.

Question - Why do highchairs now have 5 point harnesses?? What are you doing with your high chair that that would be necessary???

Mish-Mosh

I don't have any particular thing to write about today... so you're going to get a conglomeration of thoughts and questions.

Question #1 (Lula - I expect your input on this)... what's with the hair bows on little girls in the south? Whenever I go to the girls school, all the little girls have these huge bows on their head. We don't do that in Minnesota... (do we Minnesota girls?? Midwest ladies???). I'm not talking just little bows, I mean... big ones. I know my grandma wore bows like that back in the day, but... I don't get it. I'm not knocking it, I'm just trying to understand... so someone.. please explain.

The Truth Comes Out #1 - My boss told me what my new title will be - Branch Operations Specialist 1. Yes. BOS1. Fitting don't you think?

Yah #1 - I get free lunch today!

Go check it out #1 - ever used Restaurant.com... go check it out... and use the code SANTA and you'll get 80% off... I'm about to go get $100 worth of Gift Certs for a local stir fry place for $8.

Yah #2 - Mr. B is coming this weekend for my company Christmas party.

Boo #1 - I have NO idea what to wear.

Update #1 - I haven't heard anything back from John Bernau, but I did sent the blog to my music teacher, and got this reply:

What a joy to read this, Beth. Correcting our mistakes, regardless of time passed, is such an admirable thing. John was a very bright boy, and you are right, he had some very tough issues to deal with. As I train teachers now, one of the things I try to instill in them is being an advocate for every student, and making every student feel safe. Middle and high schools are such tough environments. Great to hear from you, especially this kind of message at this time of year. I have always loved that Christmas Carol, and now I have another reason to.

Question #2 - Some people call me Lizzy. Some people call me Lizzie. Which do you prefer?

I think that's all I have for now... but it's very possible that this will be a more than one post kind of day.

Wait!! I thought of something else. One time my Dad and I were walking and talking about colors men wear. His brother, who is a good... 7 inches taller than my dad and a good 100 pounds bigger, was walking behind us. I asked Dad if he would wear pink, because with his blonde hair and blue eyes, it would look nice. He said, "Real men don't wear pink." Then his brother cleared his throat and we both turned to look at him. Guess what color HE was wearing. Can you say "Bortherly Smackdown"? So there's question #3 - Do real men wear pink?

And it goes on...

I got the mail today.

There's a $200 money order

From "A Sister in Christ"

If you're out there Sister... please know you were a TOTAL answer to prayer.

Fireside Chats with Gert

Ok... it wasn't fireside.. it was in the car on the way to school. And you should know that in Gert's world things need to be fair and balanced (look out Fox News)... if you ask her "which do you like better pizza or cheeseburgers." She will tell you "both"... she just doesn't want anything to feel left out.

Gert (G) - *sniffle*

Me (M) - Do you have a stuffy nose Gert?

G - Uh... since Autumn, November and December I have had a stuffy nose.

M - You mean October, November and December?

G - Yes... What's Autumn?

M - Autumn is another word for fall.

Pause

G - What's another word for Winter?

Pause (Thinking...)

M - There isn't one.

G - What's another word for Spring?

M - There isn't one.

G - What another word for Summer?

M - There isn't one.

Pause

She crosses her arms and humphs "WELL... Why is FALL so special?"

Time for something LIGHT & FLUFFY!!!!

I've been tagged by Sugar to do this Meme... and I feel the need to lighten up a bit so this is perfect!! (And after you leave me a witty comment, make sure to head over to Sugar's blog and say hi!!!)

1: What is your theme song this very second? Various Christmas Songs Why? Tis the season!!

2: What is your favorite kind of cheese? Oh boy... um... Gouda

3: Do you have an alter ego? Well yes.... I guess Lizzy is sort of... or maybe Beth is.... hmmmm I may need a shrink to figure that one out.

4: What is your favorite book series: I don't tend to read series a whole lot... I guess The Chronicles of Narnia.

5: What is your favorite food? Well... this sounds SO teenagerish, but pizza....

6: How many followers do you have for your blog? Last count, 72

7: Favorite Candy? Oh crud... um.... milk duds.

8: What is your favorite milk? Skim

9: Your superhero name (use your favorite drink and 2nd favorite color): Dt. Mt Dew Pink?

10: Are you a happy fluffy bunnysquirrel? No... a happy fluffy kittychick.

Oh - and here - just for fun - is a pic of me when I was just a smidge older than Sugar:

Count Your Blessings...

I bought Amy Grant's new Christmas Collection Album. It's a collection of her "best" Christmas songs, and then 4 "new" songs. (Well, new to her - 2 are covers) One of the ones she covers is "Count Your Blessings" which Bing Crosby and Rosemary Clooney did in White Christmas. (If you haven't seen that movie - it's on Friday night on Lifetime.. YOU MUST WATCH OR RECORD!!!) The song is basically what it says... when life isn't going so slick start counting your blessings.

Well, I can't say life isn't slick at the moment. Other than the whole "lack of $$ thing"... it's pretty dang good. And you know why? Because of my blessings. And I have decided to count them, and share them with you.

#1 - I am the mother to two of the most wonderful girls in the world. Yes, Saturday night I sent them to their room so there wouldn't be bloodshed, but on the whole, they are wonderful girls and thank God every day for the privilege of getting to be their mom.

#2 - All my life I dreamed of a man who I could love deeply and would be my best friend and true love. I had pretty much given up on that dream... and then in walked Mr. B. During what have been some of the most difficult times of my life, he has been a steady rock. Knowing that he is out there, loving me... wow... what that does for a gal.

#3 - My family looks a lot like other families these days - step-parents and half-siblings. And while the journey with that has at times been painful, I'm so thankful for what the beautiful blessings God brought out of a tough situation. No only do I have a mom who loves me even when I'm a turkey and don't call often enough, I have a Julie who adores me and my kids and is the best role model I could find for my hopefully eventual role as a step-mom. I have a Dad with a typical dorky Dad sense of humor. I have a wonderful brother & sister-in-law & nephew. I have the best sister anyone could ask for... who makes me laugh more than anyone ever... hands down.

#4 - My friends... I have wonderful friends that I have known a long time, and I have a whole crop of WONDERFUL new friends that I hope to have in my life for a LONG time.

#5 - A wonderful wonderful lady asked if it would be okay if she would help with The Ladies' Christmas. She asked me to send her a list of things, which I did, thinking she would pick one or two things from the list. Um... no... she got everything. I am so stunned and speechless. I don't believe in spoiling kids on Christmas, but with all the no's I have had to tell them this year, letting them have a bigger Christmas than usual is... such a special blessing.

Another special friend went and bought wonderful gifts for my girls as well. Things that my girls will just love. She did such a wonderful job even though she only has boys.

ANOTHER wonderful friend sent me a Starbucks card... oh Eggnog Latte.

ANOTHER sweet friend has paid for my lunch on more than one occasion, let me drink her Diet Mt. Dews and done a million other things for me. What a blessing.

#6 - My boss was out of the office last week. She was supposed to be out 3 days on training, but then got sick on the way home and ended up being out all week. I held things down pretty well, called the home office a lot for questions but in general kept things going. She's back today, yeah! Well, she sent me this e-mail:

"Were you still thinking about taking the Friday after Christmas off to spend with your mom?"

Now I WAS thinking about it, but since I'm still a temp, if I don't work, I don't get paid, and missing a whole days pay was scaring me.... but I REALLY wanted to spend the time with my mom, so I replied that I was. This is the e-mail I got back:

"That's what I thought. Just wanted to be sure. I wanted to let you know that as a small way to say thank you for last week, you are to take that day WITH pay, so when you submit your time that week, make sure you code it as if you worked. Okay?"

Um... yeah... you know me... I cried.

#7 - I'm healthy... my girls are healthy... there are so many who aren't.

#8 - I have a car that works.

#9 - I live in a safe place with wonderful landlords.

okay... there's a billion other things I could say here... I just want to encourage you all, when things start to look ickey this time of year... to count your blessings....

Somedays the post just can't be about Christmas...

50 random things about you! If you opened this, FILL IT OUT! Learn 50 things about your friends, and let them learn 50 things about you!

1. Do you like cheese? Yes... quite a bit

2. Have you ever smoked? Yes

3. Do you own a gun? No.

4. Do you like listening to Christmas music? HA HA HA!!! Does Bill Clinton like Ladies night???

5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments? Not really...

6. What do you think of hot dogs? I know I'm not supposed to like them... but I do.

7. Favorite Christmas song? All time - Silent Night... Current - It's Christmas Baby

8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? Diet Mt. Dew

9. Can you do push ups? I can do push ups. I can do ice cream sandwiches. I can do drumsticks.

10. Who is your favorite Grey's Anatomy Character? Well... i don't watch it but I know Patrick Dempsey is on it and I heart him.

11. What's your favorite piece of jewelry? That I have now? My new snowflake earrings. That I hope to get in the not so distant future? you figure that one out.

12. Favorite hobby? Photography

13. Do you eat "exotic" foods? Does fish soaked in lye count? Cause then yes.

14. Do you have A.D.D.? Absolutely Darling Daughters? Yep, I sure do!!

15. What one trait do you hate about yourself? Lack of self-control

16. Middle Name? Lynne

17. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment? I'm fat. I'm bloated. I'm ugly. (Damn period)

18. Name 3 things you bought yesterday? Gas... that's it.

19. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink? Skim milk, Diet Mt. Dew, Peach Tea

20. Current worry right now? $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

21. Current hate? Situations I can't control.

22. Favorite place to be? Atlanta

23. How did you bring in the New Year? Um... I honestly don't remember!

24. Where would you like to go? Atlanta

25. Name three people who will complete this? You, you and you

26. Do you own flip flops? Heck yes. And I miss them.

27. What shirt are you wearing? a turtle neck & a sweater

28. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets? No... they're too slippery.

29. Can you whistle? Yes. My mom used to have a CB when I was little. Her handle was "Whistler" and I was "Little Whistler"

30. Favorite color? Blue

31. Would you be a pirate? Ay me mateys!

32. What songs do you sing in the shower? Any and every song. Lately Christmas Carols

33. Favorite girl's name? (Other than my girls names) Molly

34. Favorite boy's name? Caleb

35. What's in your pocket right now? .47

36. Last thing that made you laugh? Someone who called on the phone.

37. Best bed sheets as a child? Gingham Dog & Calico Cat. Got them when I was 2. I still have them.

38. Worst injury you've ever had? Well... I guess the hole I bit in my tongue caused the most trouble.

39. Do you love where you live? Yes.

40. How many TVs do you have in your house? 2

41. Who is your loudest friend? Me

42. How many dogs do you have? None.

43. Does someone have a crush on you? I do believe he does. He could comment for the first time ever to confirm or deny.

44. Hmmm.. there's not a 44. I'll make one up. Do you get embarrassed easily? Heck NO

45. What is your favorite book? I can't ever answer this question. I love a bunch of books. But for all time, life long appeal, I'm going to go with "Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day.

46. What is your favorite candy? Anything with caramel.

47. Do you know all the words to the Fresh Prince theme song? yes, but sometimes my brain kind of mushes them together with the Beverly Hillbillies theme song.... "Come listen to my story of all about how my life got switch turned upside down. Then when day I was shooting at some hoops when up from the ground come a bubblin crude"

48. What song do you want played at your funeral? I Can Only Imagine (Amy Grant's version) and Amazing Grace

49. What were you doing 12 AM last night? Chatting with Mr. B, watching West Wing

50. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up? Ugh - I gotta get that tooth out from under Essie's pillow quick.

Santa He Knows Me

(First of all - this is just a random thing but I bought Essie new shoes last night - and they are a a women's size 9!!!! ACK!!!!)

Are you all ready for another Christmas story? This one doesn't involve a Christmas program though... sorry... I ran outta fuel for that fire.

It was a cold December evening. Essie had just turned 4, and Gert was just a little bean in my tummy. For SOME reason we found ourselves at Wal-Mart (BTW - Gert has renamed Wal-Mart, "Fart-Mart" and every time we go buy she says "ew... what's that SMELL?")

Essie was sitting in the cart, and I was just wandering through the store. All of a sudden Essie's eyes got HUGE... I turned to see what had caused it, and there was Santa. Not in his red suit, rather a plaid flannel shirt and worn blue overalls. But it was HIM. I turned to Essie and said "Is that who I THINK it is?" Eyes still wide with wonder, all she could do was nod. I said, "What do you think he's DOING here?" She kept her eyes trained on him, but whispered "Buying food for the elves." At that point we turned down an isle and Santa went the other direction. I asked her if she thought Santa brought the reindeer or drove, and she said she figured he drove to give the reindeer a rest.

As we continued to shop, we crossed paths with Santa several more times, and each time Essie just stared at him with wide-eyed-child-wonder.

We finally had what we needed and headed towards the front of the store to wait in line for 30 minutes to check out. As we got in a line, Santa was passing us again, only this time he stopped. And leaned over to Essie. And whispered...

"I'm keeping my eye on you..."

And he walked away.

Yes, Essie, there IS a Santa Claus.

For Unto You a Star is Born

In what is apparently becoming a theme week of Christmas Programs (?) I thought I would share with you how The Ladies play went this weekend. They were in our church's production of "The Best Christmas Pageant Ever". Gert was a Baby Angel and Essie was in the Angel Choir. Friday night was their first performance. I went and was right in the second row. The play is delightful and the actors did a wonderful job. Essie did a lovely job as an Angel - she looked a little nervous, but did so well. Unfortunately we weren't allowed to take flash photography and Essie was back where I couldn't get a decent picture of her.

Gert. Gert didn't come on until the very end of the play. All the little Baby Angels file onto the stage, and in their cute little angelic voices, they all sing "Away in a Manager."

All, that is, except Gert.

Gert took it upon herself to liven things up with some good eye crossing:

Some tongue-sticking-outing:

Some jig-dancing:

And some general mayhem:

The audience was in STITCHES. Which of course only egged her on more. From "Away in a manager" to "Asleep on the Hay" she carried on... not singing a single word. But stealing the show none-the-less.

When the show was done and I was walking through the auditorium I heard:

"Did you see that little angel dancing and going on? Wasn't she precious?"

"Then that little angel started crossing her eyes and I couldn't stop laughing."

"Do you think that the little one at the end was told to act that way?"

"That cross-eyed angel - she capped off the show!"

I'll admit, there was part of me that wanted to scold her for her antics, but she was such a hit, how could I? We got in the car and I asked her what made her decide to do that.

"Well Mom.... I just thought the audience could use something to laugh at."

Heaven. Help. Me.

I went to all 3 performances. Sunday afternoon a lady sat down behind me and was telling her companions that she had been at the play Friday night and it was SO enjoyable and funny, but the funniest part was this little angel at the end who crossed her eyes and was doing a little dance.... And then I heard her whisper as Gert took the stage "That's here - that little one with the brown hair - keep your eye on her."

And Gert performed, and as she wanted, she gave the audience something to laugh at.

More Christmas Program Memories.... (Whole DIFFERENT kind of tissue warning)

My 6th grade teacher had a son, Erik, who had albinism (apparently saying Albino isn't PC). The fairest skin and white white hair, and the palest blue eyes you have ever seen. And even in Nordic Minnesota, he stood out in a crowd.

He was in Kindergarten the year I was in 6th grade.

The time had come for our Christmas Program. (If you read yesterday's post - it was the same program) Our music teacher informed us "big kids" the day before our program that we were to sit in the bleachers QUIETLY while waiting for our turn to sing. No matter WHAT the little kids did, we were to be QUIET. Pretty much under penalty of death.

The night came and we were sitting in the bleachers. The little kindergartners wandered onto the stage to do their traditional selections of Jingle Bells, Rudolph & Frosty. Somewhere towards the end of Jingle Bells, Erik started picking his nose. And not just a discrete swipe, but a full-on archaeological DIG of his nose. After some time he apparently found his treasure as he was clearly admiring SOMETHING on the end of his finger. He gazed at it fondly for a few minutes while we tried SO HARD not to laugh.

Soon, the "item" at the end of his finger lost his interest, and he shook his finger to remove it. But.. being a typical item, it stuck. He shook harder. It stuck. He shook SUPER hard... and yet that stubborn "item" would NOT be moved.

Being the wise boy that he was, he quickly figured out the solution to his problem. He turned to his neighbor, wiped his finger down his neighbor's sleeve, and continued right on singing Frosty the Snowman with his class.

We couldn't help it. We all lost it. The whole 6th grade. Busted out laughing.

Our music teacher's head wiped around to face us, and the death daggers coming from her eyes promised that we wouldn't see recess for at LEAST a month.

The next day we filed into music class, knowing full well we were about to get an EARFUL...

"WHAT EXACTLY WAS SO FUNNY THAT YOU HAD TO DISRUPT THE ENTIRE PROGRAM?"

We all looked at each other. Who would be the one brave enough to explain what had happened? Chan took the bull by the horns. He respectfully stood up, and explained, in full detail with accompanying hand motions, what had taken place.

Not ONLY did the music teacher turn some shades of red I've never seen as she laughed, she JOINED us outside for recess that afternoon.

I guess we were forgiven.

It's Time (up front tissue warning)

I have a story I want to share with you. I've been waiting. Waiting for the sign that it was time. What was I waiting for? For the first time I would hear the Christmas carol "I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day." I heard it last night, so the time has come.

John Bernau was the "yucky" kid in my elementary school. He wore 2nd hand/hand-me-down clothes. He was the oldest of... a lot of boys... I really have no idea how many. His mom always seemed to be pregnant. His dad... I don't know what he did for a living but he drank away his paychecks. The family lived in a run-down, single-wide trailer. The boys all had home-done buzz cuts and mom obviously didn't have the steadiest of hands... there were always little bald spots and uneven spots.

Because of the ever-present "Alphabetical Order" in elementary school, I was next to John in everything. Including our lockers. And I'll be honest. He didn't always smell so good. He ALWAYS smelled like a stale cigarette, but sometimes even worse. He wore Converse shoes when they were NOT cool. He stuttered a little.

We kids were MEAN to him. M-E-A-N mean. We teased him, kids pushed him, they super glued the lock on his locker. We ignored him. We laughed at his stammering... we were mean.

The Christmas of 6th grade, I was chosen to sing a solo in the school Christmas program (back when you could have a public school Christmas program). I would be singing the first 2 verses of "I Heard The Bells." I'll admit, I was feeling good and smug. Then, Mrs. Ludtke rocked my world. (And NOT in a good way) She announced who would be singing the next 2 verses.

John Bernau.

I was going to have to stand, on the stage, alone, with John Bernau. My moment in the spotlight - ruined. Oh the unfairness of it all. The horror. The embarrassment.

The night came... I had on my best Christmas duds (believe it or not I do NOT think they were plaid)... I had my hair all brushed and cute holiday accessorized. I got to school and saw John. Same clothes as usual - brown cords, brown plaid shirt, blue falling-apart converse shoes.

Ugh.

The time came. John & I took the stage. The piano started, and I stepped forward to sing my part:

I heard the bells on Christmas Day
Their old familiar carols play
And wild and sweet, the words repeat
Of peace on earth good will, to men.

I thought how as the day had come
The belfries of all Christendom
Had roll'd along th' unbroken song
Of Peace on earth, good will to men.

Then, John's verses:

And in despair, I bow'd my head:
"There is no peace on earth," I said,
"For hate is strong and mocks the song,
Of Peace on earth, good will to men."

Then pealed the bells more loud and deep;
"God is not dead, nor doth He sleep;
The wrong shall fail, the right prevail,
With Peace on earth, good will to men."

Obviously as a twelve-year-old the message was lost on me. I was still mortified to be standing there with John Bernau.

I can't tell you at what point my feelings changed. Obviously at some point I grew up and realized that John Bernau was just a sweet little boy, trapped by circumstances which were in NO WAY under his control. When he needed a friend, he got foes. When he needed encouragement, he got ignored. When he needed a smile, he got a sneer.

My heart now breaks every time I hear that song. I can't hear it and keep my eyes dry. The remorse I feel. The guilt. How horrid was I? A child who was teased herself. How could I turn around and be so mean, when I knew exactly how it felt? Sick.

I moved away from that town in 8th grade. I don't know what happened to John Bernau. I hope beyond hope that he was able to rise above all our crap. That he has gone on to a happy life. I hope he was able to break the cycle that he grew up in.

I have searched the internet for years for a listing for John Bernau. I guess I was looking for assurance that he was okay. That our stupid, idiotic, childishness didn't hurt him permanently. But I've never found anything that indicated it was he. I told Mr. B this story, and he started looking. And he found a John Bernau that lives in a town about 30 miles from where we lived. Surely it must be him, right?

So I have here a letter. Written to John Bernau, addressed to the address we found. I'm sending it today. It's not a very long letter. It's just an apology. A long over-due apology.

Then pealed the bells more loud and deep;
"God is not dead, nor doth He sleep;
The wrong shall fail, the right prevail,
With Peace on earth, good will to men."

You win some... you Lose Some

I am a temp employee. I've been working at this place since early May. My contract is up on December 31st. I had planned to talk to my boss about their plans for that point, and then started hearing a lot of talk about them hiring to replace a lady in our office who went on disability, and started to get worried.

Friday morning I got an e-mail from my boss "When you're done with your morning work, can you please let me know? I need to talk to you for 5-10 minutes."

Crap. Crap Crap Crappity Crap.

I figured at the very best she was going to tell me that I was going back to 32 hours a week, and at worst that they were hiring someone else and December 31st would be my last day.

I was tempted to REALLY be slow about getting my work done, but why delay the inevitable, you know?

I got done, she got free... I went in and she had this look on her face and I just knew it. She and I have become really good friends and I could tell she was NOT wanting to do this.

"Ok, I just wanted to have a few minutes to talk to you about this before I go to St. Louis next week."

CRAP... CRAAAAAAAAAP

"How would you feel about making this position full time?"

CRAAAA......wait...... HUNH????

"We'd like you to start supporting two of the brokers. It'll be a lot more work. You'll be a Wachovia employee - insurance, 401K, paid sick time & vacation, and we're not sure yet but at least a $2 an hour raise"

Did you hear screaming Friday morning?

That was me.

Saying yes.

Turkey, Tettrizini & Travel....

The Tuesday evening before Thanksgiving I drove the hour to where I meet their dad when we swap them, then came back home and packed up for my weekend in HOTLANTA!!!!

Wednesday my boss GRACIOUSLY let us close the office about an hour early so I could get on the road. WOO HOO!!! I was driving along, boppin to some tunes... crossed the border into South Carolina.. woo hoo!! Cheap gas!!

Kept going till i got down to Greenville.. which is about an hour south of my house. Found a station that said "$1.54" and pulled in. I reached over to get my wallet out of my purse and found....

A BIG hole where my wallet should be. Yes, ladies and gentleman, I had LEFT my wallet at home. An hour away. And it's ALL Sonic's (the drive-in, not the hedgehog) fault. See, I gone there at lunch to get an Egg Nog milkshake - and they don't' HAVE them. HAD they HAD them I would have attempted to PAY for it and I would have realized I didn't have my wallet. Thanks for NOTHING Sonic.

So I must turn around and drive the hour back to my house. But remember why I stopped... to get gas... why? Because I was RUNNING LOW.

(Side note - here is a brief sketch of my travels from Tuesday night through Sunday afternoon. Each line represents a trip)(Map is not to scale)

Okay, back to the story. I'm driving home, UP BIG MOUNTAINS... (that guzzles gas for you flat-landers) and the gas light comes on in my car. I still have quite a ways to go... Oh Jesus please help me get home and to a gas station... oh Jesus please help me get home and to a gas station. At that very moment... the traffic stops on the interstate because of construction.

NNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

I was sure my goose was cooked at that point... but it let up and I got to my exit... I got to my neighborhood... I got to my street... I got to my parking lot.... I got my wallet... I got back in my car and went to the NEAREST gas station. My tank is a 14 gallon tank. I put 15.252 gallons of gas in my car. Thus leading me to conclude that this is what my car looked like:

Well... I FINALLY made it to Atlanta... what should have been a 3 hour trip took 5. I got there and saw Mr. B for about 10 minutes, then finally pulled up to Kat's house. I was so glad to see her... and that LOVELY guest bed.

Thursday morning I woke up and was excited to see I'd made it to another Thanksgiving!! At my age, you know, nothing is a guarantee. Kat's kitchen was a bee-hive of activity. She put me to WORK.... Here I am making pudding!!

Kat's Mom had gotten some really beautiful floral arrangements. We had to keep them hidden though, because the kitties liked them JUST a little TOO much!!

After slaving away all day, and watching kitties try to break into the oven to eat the turkey, it was time to eat. There were 11 of us. Kat & Mr. Kat, Kat's girls, Kat's mom, Kat's brother, Kat's brother's roommate, and Kat's Long Lost Cousin & Husband. We all stood in the living room, ready to thank the Lord for this meal. Kat suggested one of her daughters pray. Much... discussion followed:

In the end Kat asked me to pray and I was more than glad to because I was HUNGRY.

ALL the food was WONDERFUL. Despite her assertions that we were not going to have a traditional Thanksgiving meal, we had a traditional Thanksgiving meal.

And that thing with the wing... it's a turkey. I know.. it looks WAY too much like a Vikings helmet.

Kat, Mr. Kat, Long Lost Relatives (From now on known as Mr. LLR & Mrs. LLR) and I sat down at the table together. Mr & Mrs LLR talked... incessantly. They just moved, corruption, coffee cans with contraband in them, pain, daughters, scrap booking... and a whole bunch of stuff I just tuned out at some point. Here's Mr. LLR and his noise pollution:

Mrs. LLR has some... issues... she seemed either physically incapacitated or drunk. Whichever it was this picture doesn't do justice of her hair flipping (she NEEDS bangs) and facial... covering...when she talked.

Kat, Mr. Kat and I were on seconds for the Family LLR was even through their first servings because of their yapping. After the meal poor Kat's mom got trapped on the couch with Mrs. LLR who was going on about all things... crafty.... poor Kat's mom.

Because I work for lunatics, I had to head home Thursday night so I could go to work Friday for 5 hours. It was a nice night for a drive. I had my wallet.

I went to work Friday. The phone rang 3 times. 2 times it was people I work with telling me they decided not to work that day after all.

The office closed at 1, and I headed back to Atlanta. Again, I had my wallet. Mr. B and I met to do some shopping and then had a LOVELY picnic supper in the rain... don't worry, we were under some covering so we didn't get wet. We had a really good talk, and some REALLY good kissing... *sigh*... then I headed on to Kat's.

Later that night Kat, Mr. Kat and I went to a local watering hole for some trivia!! I got to meet some of Kat's friends. They were SUPER DUPER cool and NEATO and FUN!!! We had a great time. We didn't win. Damn Tettrizini. Here we all are gathered around the table.

We headed home and I crawled into that WONDERFUL bed... I called Mr. B before I went to sleep and said something about how I can't ever sleep past 8. Um... yeah... I woke up after 10. If you are EVER in Atlanta and need a NICE place to sleep, I HIGHLY recommend the larger of Kat's 3 guest beds... it's wonderfully comfortable and the covers are cozy!!!

When I finally got my lazy arse out of bed, Kat and I headed out to do some shopping. First we went to have MEXICAN food... it was NUMMY. The conversation was STIMULATING!!!

Then we got to the shopping. Now, I know Kat's daughter follows my blog, so that's about all I have to say about that. But here's a picture of Kat... shopping.

THEN we went over to Target. WHICH was a madhouse! There were NO carts. NONE... it was cut throat carting. You had to wait for people to get finished in line and then hope they weren't going to use the cart to carry their single purchase of a preemie onsie out to the car. Well. I got a cart. Kat was then in the area waiting for this next cart, and made eye contact with a guy coming from the registers, when this BEOTCH swoops in and takes the cart!!! Kat was going to kung foo chop her.... see... (I like a good action shot)

Now... here's where you all get jealous. Mr. B met us at Target. Yes. Kat has met Mr. B. In fact Kat got to witness Mr. B sneaking up on my from behind. Which I still don't understand how that worked since I was watching the door. But here's a picture of it:

We headed back to Kat's and had some nummy leftovers for supper. Kat's girls were just GIGGLY pusses to be sure... I have never seen 2 sibling crack each other up like they do....

Mr. B and I went out that night - we went to an old Monster Movie - there's this awesome place in Atlanta that does old monster movies with a floor show beforehand. SOOOO funny. We saw "The Creeping Eye"....

Sunday morning I headed out... up to Knoxville to get the girls... it rained the WHOLE WAY THERE.....

Because of the holiday traffic it took 7 hours to drive home... by the time we walked in the door I was BEAT. Then I realized.... I was OL... mother hubbard.... I had pickles and milk and condiments. Were I pregnant, i would have been in luck....

So I dragged my sorry butt to the store, loaded up on a couple items, came home... and crashed on the couch.

Thus ending my lovely, wild, Thanksgiving weekend.

I Lied

I know... I said i'd recap Thanksgiving today. But I can't.. I'm exhausted. Today I:

Baked a cake at midnight:

Set it out to cool around 1 am:

Went to sleep around 1
Woke up at 4, nervous I would oversleep.
Woke up at fifteen minute intervals
Got up at 6
Met Gert's teacher for conferences at 7
Ran into Essie's teacher. He said it was okay to bring snacks for her birthday.
Ran to store to get cookies
Went back to school
Came home.
Made frosting
Started decorating cake:

Stopped half way through to go to Lawyer.
Get papers notarized
Go to courthouse
Get file number and signatures
Am all ready to send summons and other stuff to soon-to-be-ex
Drive to girls school
Pick up girls
Stop at home to clean
Take Gert to dentist.
5 cavities (she has her dad's teeth.. they rot easily)... they tell me they want to put SILVER crowns on them... they say they call them princess teeth... i tell her I think they're ghetto teeth.
Go back home
Meet soon-to-be-ex at home
Finish decorating cake:

Take girls to mall with soon-to-be-ex.
Essie uses build-a-bear gift certificate:

We wandered the mall looking for some stuff.
Ate (realized that was my first food today)
Came home
Ate cake
Soon-to-be-ex left
Girls played with new toys while I cleaned the kitchen.
And here we are. And I'm going to bed now... I'm sorry....

A Decade of Delicious Drama

Dear Miss Essie,

10 years ago today you changed my life forever. You made me a mom.

At first you weren't too sure about the idea:

But what girls doesn't want her first outfit in life to be Camo?:

But see... then Mommy started picking out your clothes and.. okay, you don't
really look happier, but you DO look cuter!!!!

See!! Finally that smile!!

If only I had known how telling this picture would be. You in all your stuff animals... if you did that today they would drown you. It's SAFE to say stuffed animals are by FAR your favorite thing.

Look at you... driving your first 'Vette!! Gosh... I just realized we're closer to you getting your drivers license than we are to when to when this picture was taken.

Such a proud fisher-girl!! I wish I had a picture of the bass you caught!!

You've been a dress up girl for forever... of course I see visions of the future here. You used to tell me you were never getting married. I've noticed lately you're starting to change your tune.

I know your sister drives you crazy. But take time to cherish her. You are such a good big sister when you want to be... and she just adores you.

You do love her, you know.

Here's your first day of school. We sure didn't know what kind of a roller coaster school would be for you. I KNOW it's hard, but I also know you are SOOOOOOOO smart, and you can DO IT!! I believe in you Baby!!!!

You have such a great sense of humor. You're quirky and understand sarcasm better than most adults I know. I LOVE your view of the world.

Oh Essie... yes... hands down one of my all time favorite pictures of you....

You're changing so much... inside and out... you are truly beautiful. Your inner beauty shows in the glow on your face. I know you don't believe me sometimes... but you ARE beautiful - in ALL the ways that matter.

We don't always see eye to eye, do we sweetie? So often I wish I could say yes when I have to say no. I hope you realize someday that I'm always trying to do what's best for you... what will best help you grow into a successful adult.

Here you are sweetie... this picture is so you.. the drama... the laughter... the over the top. I don't know what the world holds for you my sweet girl. But I know 2 things for sure. Jesus, who lives in your heart, loves you far more than I ever can. He wants the best for you, and I pray that you'll open your heart to whatever that is. The second thing I know for sure is that I LOVE YOU. I love the little girl you were, and I love the young lady you are becoming. It is an HONOR to be your mom. I Love You. Thank you for making me a mom.

Happy Birthday!

(The purple font color today is in honor of Essie... since it's her favorite color. And for the Minnesota Vikings who are leading their division.. ha ha)
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I know... I added a song. I promise I won't always have one... but this is Essie's and my song....