She was dating a wonderful man, who couldn't stand the thought of her girls and her not having a tree, so he sent some money for them to make the purchase.
The 3 Ladies went to Target (pause for proper reverence...... thank you). There was a beautiful tree that the Ladies decided was meant to be theirs. They purchased it, hauled it home, up the 2 flights of stairs to their apartment, and took it out of the box. Together they, while listening to Christmas music, put the tree together, carefully bending each branch so it looked "real." They even managed to put the lights on the tree. Oh how pretty it was. But the hour was late and so our heroine sent the beautiful daughters to bed.
She herself reclined on her couch, watching television, basking in the glow of the mutli-colored lights... it was all so intoxicating... that she fell asleep on the couch.
The 3 Ladies went to Target (pause for proper reverence...... thank you). There was a beautiful tree that the Ladies decided was meant to be theirs. They purchased it, hauled it home, up the 2 flights of stairs to their apartment, and took it out of the box. Together they, while listening to Christmas music, put the tree together, carefully bending each branch so it looked "real." They even managed to put the lights on the tree. Oh how pretty it was. But the hour was late and so our heroine sent the beautiful daughters to bed.
She herself reclined on her couch, watching television, basking in the glow of the mutli-colored lights... it was all so intoxicating... that she fell asleep on the couch.
Only to be awakened by something pining her legs down. Her eyes flew up in terror, sure to find some maniac had broken into her home and was now attacking. However the attacker was not a man, but a tree... the beautiful new tree had taken a tipper.
She tried to right it, to no avail, and ended up resting in on the entertainment center. After several attempts to fix it with hooks and wires and such, the single mom decided to just return the derned thing. So she took the lights off, took the tree apart, and put it back in the box. Trudged down the 2 flights of stairs and drove back to Target (pause..............................)
They happily took the tree back, and the nice lady figured surely that tree was a fluke, so she just exchanged it for one just like the first.
Back in the car, to the apartment, up the stairs, in the door, out of the box. Fluff the boughs, wrap the lights, hang the ornaments. Ahhh.. perfection!!! Wake up the next morning, and the tree is standing tall! They are WINNERS!!
The next day, she and the beautiful girls returned home from their day of working and learning, and found the tree... slumped over. The victim of some horrible crime.
Looking at the tree, the beautiful, kind, sweet, loving, gentle lady said:
"Screw It"
******************************************************
In related news - my mom arrives today. I love her. She drives me nuts.
Pray.
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36 comments:
Well, you tried. I still think that it looks great. And I bet that you have the only leaning Christmas tree.
You know....its probably just as out of breath as you were truging it up a flight of stairs...and lets not forget you tortured the poor thing bending its branches....its just resting ;)
You're lucky my computer isn't covered in the ice cream I was eating as I finished reading your post. I ALMOST spewed it all over the place laughing.
I LOVE the tree.
You are so hilarious! Merry Christmas!
hahahahahah we have a leaning tree at work too!! It still looks beautiful though! Hope you all have a wonderful christmas!
Mr B...what a guy to buy you a tree.
It's still lovely, regardless :)
Hahahaha!! Too funny! I love your snowmen!! I'm a snowman collector - yours are precious!
I love your tree. It's the leaning tree of Duckville.
p.s. Have you ever heard the saying, "Happiness is a warm, loving, close-knit family...that lives 500 miles away from you."
Amen, my friend. I love my mom...she's my best friend. She makes me CRAZY, though. Good times.
The leaning tower of treesa!!!
Too funny. But it does still look beautiful.
Maybe your mom will know how to fix it??!!
Sorry that she drives you crazy. My mom drove me crazy too. And now I drive my daughter crazy. I think we can't help it...
Oh, and Mr.B. Thank you!!
Well and that a pizzer. Poop. Is it that the 'legs' too short and don't support it? Are they too close together? Weird. I dunno. Just...weird. At least it's a pretty leaning tree!
I, too, love my mom. But she makes me want to pop pills. And on some occasions, I actually do. We butt heads so bad. God love her.
I just don't mess with any of it- but I think if it was me, I would say bad words. I like your music- especially Agnus Dei- it is one of my favorites.
Maybe your mom will have the solution, or perhaps the tree tipping fairy will stop coming to your house.
I prefer to think that the leaning makes it look more real, cause the real ones never stand up perfectly straight. So there. And moms. Sigh. My mother's and my relationship is much, MUCH better for living 1000 miles apart. We also have a four day limit on how long visits can last, beyond that and I don't think any jury in the land would convict me.
A leaning tower of Christmas - how continental of you!
Oh yeah, chuckling so much the kids had to come check on me!
Good luck with mom, we understand!!
If you start into the eggnog now, that tree will no longer seem askew.
The BSC playoff wold be Utopia if only for the fact that there would be more FOOTBALL on TV.
Don't forget...my mom LIVES with me....
'nuff said....
Oh wait...PRAY!
Sort of like the inverse of the Charlie Brown tree, only a lot more askew?
What a beautiful leaning tree! LOL What a wonderful Mr. B!
I think we all feel like that about our moms...at some point!
Have a Happy Holiday!
Are you SURE this tree isn't just a wee bit tipsy? I heard there was a "nip" in the air when you purchased it!
Your Mom arrives? Now that is something to pause for... in prayer! (If she is anything like mine.)
Merry Christmas!
I love your leaning tree. I think that "fixing" it will be a job for your mom. I'll say that prayer for you. But you probably won't need it for a few more days :-)
Call me if you need that hide out...
Moms can fix anything! I bet your mom will make that tree stand just fine:)
As much as I dread the loneliness of the holidays (don't see fam much) I admit...glad I don't have to see my mom. *gasp* that Sassy's a beeyotch.
Well, maybe the quirky tree will keep your mama busy ;o)
The first Christmas tree my hubs and I bought together .. well, we didn't have a ton of money, and we were late (as usual), so it was slim pickings. We got it home, he sawed the end off of it, and then we bickered for at least an hour over why it wouldn't fit in the tree base, only to stand up and realize that it's trunk curved and sprouted off a whole new trunk at the top. *sigh*
Merry Christmas!!
It has character:-) Good luck with your mom!
Maybe you could task your mom with righting the tree??? That should keep her out of trouble for awhile.
Love the tree, propping and all!
Good luck with your mom. Mine arrives on Friday. For the weekend. God help us all. Seriously. I'll pray for you. You pray for me. Wanna?
hahaha I love a tree with character. The leaning Christmas tree. That's awesome!! It goes into the Hot Tub book of Family Legends.
Leaning or not... I think it's a pretty tree!
I sure hope you and The Ladies have a very very Merry Christmas!!!
Yeah, screw it. I love my Mum and Dad, and they drive me nuts too. Will pray.
Poor tree. Our tree is slightly crooked. We eventually left it alone too.
Well...I know that Peanut has not been to visit your house so I know he didn't topple that tree but it sure looks like some of his handiwork!
I'll pray for your motherly visit -- I have a mom like that too so I totally get your anxiety! Hang in there -- this too shall pass!
This will be one to remember. You and the ladies will still be talking about the time you had the tree that wouldn't stand up for years to come! =)
Merry Christmas!
Sorry about the misbehaving tree!! I am glad you got one though! I hope Santa is good to all of you! And yeah, good luck with your mom!!! Merry Christmas!
Hahahaha! It's sure got some character!
We had a tree like that, lost so many bulbs during the duration of that tree!
How avant garde! Perfectly verticle trees are so passé.
Enjoy time with your mom. And I'm pretty sure they're supposed to drive you nuts. It's part of natural order.
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