It's a Sad Sad Sad Sad World

AI is in CHI-TOWN!!!!! I love me some Chicago!! Great city, great people. Shania Twain is our guest judge and actually a very effective one at that. Hmm.... could she replace Simon??? I like her.

Apparently bad singers.

And we start the night with the sob stories. Katelyn's parents are separating. Dad's always been there for her performances in the past, and now he's left. And believe me, I'm not mocking, but seriously, in this day and age, I'm guessing about 40% of the people auditioning have divorced parents. I'm not sure that's really a back story. But, she sang pretty well and made it through. Oh - and should she get any where in Hollywood, I'm hoping someone will give her a nice, deep conditioning treatment.

Next up is Amy. Amy is a... full figured gal... and is ALL personality.

Well. Personality and boobs.

First she pretends to faint... and her boobs apparently... flex or something.

Sadly, I think she's a really good singer, but she over did the funny and didn't make it through. Dang. I liked her.

Charity from Arkansas is up next. she's very... yellow. Blonde hair, yellow shirt, pale skin. The important thing to note here is she has a plaid skirt. Her voice is nice but thin. Eh... she makes it through but I don't see her going far.

Insert bunches and bunches of mad, bad people.

But soft, what light through yonder window breaks. It's Angela Martin. She's auditioned 3 times now. Made it to Hollywood twice. The first time she was cut in Hollywood, then last year she had to go to court for a traffic violation so now she's back AGAIN. Well... 3rd times a charm? She's got a great voice. Let's hope she can make it this time.

Hmmm... more people... more... really bad singing. And some people who... well... just didn't get it.

More... no tickets....

More... bad......

Wow - this evening is painful....

Brian from Pittsburgh channels some Tiny Tim and invites us to Tiptoe Through the Tulips.... He was apparently kicked out of the Army for singing in uniform. What does THAT tell you.

Some young man who says he's the champ. His name is Herold... and Herold thinks he can sing. But the judges don't agree, and they make him cry.

John comes through and FINALLY gets a ticket. He's got a nice voice, apparently surprising the judges. He throws off Shania so badly that she told him he has a nice bottom. She meant range, but of course it didn't get taken that way. And it went downhill from there.

Oh it's Paige... Paige almost died when she was little. That was sad. So now she MUST make it through because she almost died when she was little. That's logical right? Simon didn't like her, the ladies said yes, but not resounding ones. Randy gives her a yes and shes GOING THROUGH. I didn't draw her picture. She bores me.

A couple more guys make it through, and that draws us to the end of Chicago.

So... dear readers... imagine you're going to American Idol. What do you give for your sob story? Give me your best sad sad sad World Story.....

2 down

Eternity to go.

This.... is........ Well...... You Know

It's BAAAAACK.... such at it is. American Idol started again last night. As we know the franchise is changing - Paula is out, Ellen is in, but not til later, now Simon will be out next year. Is it weird that Randy Jackson will be the "Voice of Experience?"

The first night was Bean-Town... and it had it's ups and downs. Tomorrow we'll give you HOT-Lanta, but tonight we'll stick with Boston.

Ok... so there's no way I can (nor want) to tell you about EVERY single person that auditions. I'm gonna pick my favorites - good and bad - and give you a thought or two, and yes... a Sharpie Rendition... of each of them.

Guest Judge: Posh Spice

Weather: Rainy

Simon: Wal-mart White t-shirt

First Up - Jumpin Janis. This lady is either on something, or should be. Apparently she has acquired the "American Idol" Wii game. At first Simon (on the game) said she was terrible, but now "90% of the time he says she's awesome!" Which of COURSE means she's ready to hit the real show!!! Right!!!!!

Wrong. So... very very very wrong. That's all I have to say about that.

Next

Maddy - Maddy is 16 and just cute as a bug. She is #9 of 12 kids, and 4 of her siblings have downs syndrome (ed note - I am a BIG sucker for downs kids). She's obviously a GREAT sister to these boys. She sings Leonard Cohen's version of Hallelujah which was BEAUTIFUL!!! She's got soul for a 16-year-old. The judges all seem to like her and.... it's our first golden ticket!!!! She goes out and is MOBBED by her brothers with their balloon flowers and all kinds of love and hugs!! Oh she's a cutie!!!

Insert a couple losers and a couple winners here

After the break we have Amadeo, a huge Italian guy with Mob ties (I'm making that up... maybe) and a pretty decent voice. He gets through and is mobbed by a lot of really big Italian guys and I'm thinking that was prime time for someone to get out of town if they have a hit on them.

Now... Derrick. Derrick likes Chris Brown because of the way he touches the children of the world. Derrick likes to make up words, and sings through... well... I think the sounds is ACTUALLY coming out of his nostrils... no wait... it's a falsetto.... no wait... now it's from his chest... wow.... multiple personalities in one song. The judges aren't lovin' it... neither am I.

Insert more failures here.

And then they feature some girl who is into Anime and really... might be more irritating than almost anyone I've ever met and I don't want to draw her OR talk about her so I don't have to. Cause it's my blog. So there.

Insert a couple winners here - couple nice guys with nice voices.

And now... Andrew... who is REALLY pissed off that he's been waiting all day and people keep asking him questions. I really want to sing him the patience song. Quite honestly, I'm gonna guess Andrew is on the Autism spectrum somewhere. He just has a hard time picking up on social cues. Beyond that, he's just a pissed off young man with a smart ass mouth - but that again makes me think he has challenges cause he just isn't getting how to deal with people. At any rate.... he sings moderately ok... but yet weird... and... buhbye Andrew....

Insert... More losers. With musical "background"... sigh.

And some more winners.

Tyler is a cutie with 2 broken hands and a 70's vibe with a fro-ish kinda thing. He'll be interesting to watch.

Winner

Winner

Chicken

Dinner

Boston - Day 2

(Interesting - we've had a Ford Commerical with Chris Allen, and some other commercial with Bo Bice)

Now we have Lisa... who can't sing and all I have to say about her is I KNOW she's going to show up on an episode of Bridezilla someday.

Enter - Mike Davis - mike is a cutie. He works on a speed boat - Codzilla. He's kinda got that cocky frat boy thing going on, but a cute smile. Now... can he sing??? He can - he sang Yesterday by the Beatles. And he did well. And he makes it through. Woo hoo....

You know... you watch these people come through and you realize that last years winner didn't hardly garner 2 seconds of mention in the audition round, so who knows who's being overlooked here that might be HUGE later on.

And right now I'd like to thank Comcast for my DVR that allows me to forward through these commercials!!

Now we have a nice girl named Katie - which is a name I love - and Katie is singing for her grandma with Alzheimer's. Awwwww.... that's really sweet. My grandma had that too. I can relate. Wow - Katie is 16 and has a great voice - and - another not annoying 16-year-old. But I have to tell you... i thought about drawing her and she's.... a lot of brown. She's AWESOME to listen too.... so... just trust me she did well and hopefully we'll draw her later when she makes some top 10 or something. Awww... big group hug!

Now here comes - Peter Brady?? Ok, they're saying is name is Josh, but I'm telling you it's Peter Brady. he sings nicely - with no voice changing warbles - but he comes across too nice - so they try to toughen him up by having him tell Simon to shut up. Oh - actually - the reason his voice didn't warble is cause it hasn't changed yet - even though he's 28 years old. And... Peter... I mean Josh... i mean the Silver Platters... I mean Josh... is going through to Hollywood!

Well it's about time for the montage of bad. Sigh....

And NOW it's time for the inspirational story. It's the Danny Gokey of '10, minus the dead wife. Justin is 27 and had survived cancer. Which, is huge. And he's cute and had a pretty decent voice so you know AI is EATING THIS UP.

GOOD GRIEF - are we not done yet???

Imagine Michael Jackson and Prince and.. well.. Paula Abdul had a "love" child. That's the next guy, Norberto. Norberto has on a silver lame vest and some kinda... hair... that has too much product in it and... can't sing for BEANS....

Bosa - Bosa's parents are from Nigeria. That's nice isn't it? They've settled in Columbus, Ohio... which I imagine is quite different from Nigeria. Bosa has a nice voice... and Posh goes after Simon a bit... it's fun to watch the British go after the British.... LOL. And he's through to Hollywood. I'm gonna draw Bosa's mom, cause she's much more fun to draw.
Oh we're on the last contestant. Her name is Leah. From Long Island. I like Long Island Ice Teas. Leah is a little bit weepy. can you imagine having PMS on your American Idol day? I'm not saying she has that, I'm just saying that would suck. Leah wants to be a "Sing-ger".. which is cute. Leah had a ruffle skit and gets through.

There we are... onto Atlanta!

Time for a Change

So it's 2010... I felt a little need to make some changes around here. In my dream world I would have made my own background and such but... whatever... this is cute and it's PLAID :)

Do you say "Twenty ten" or "Two thousand ten"? I say Twenty Ten.

So there.

The girls and I went to a home show yesterday. It was beyond lame. Basically, I paid $19.00 for a bout 20 pieces of candy.

Yesterday afternoon Gert and I went to get our hair trimmed. Essie was not in the mood for it, so she stayed out in the car. I neglected to tell her that she couldn't sit there the whole time with the radio running, so when we got back out to the car, it wouldn't start. Now, granted, the battery is, I believe, original equipment in my 2001 Honda, so that's not really a surprise. I happened to be on the phone with Mr. B at the time, and he rushed to my rescue (as did a wonderful guy and his wife who offered to help but I said someone was coming, and they came back out just as Mr. B arrived, and he helped push my car over to where Mr. B could jump it. Thank you Mr. & Mrs. Stranger)... So Mr B (wearing an AWESOME plaid flannel shirt) got my car running, and then said he was going to give me some money to get a new battery, and followed me to Sears to make sure that the car kept running. We got the car into Sears, and the ladies and I headed into the mall to kill time. Mr. B headed out for a planned evening with his friend. We went to the food court and found some dinner, and as we were sitting, I found myself daydreaming a little about Mr. B and how good he is to me. Essie caught me wool-gathering and asked what I was doing. I told her that "I'm just think about my knight in shining armor" and Gert says "You mean your knight in shining plaid!" LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There was a pet store at the mall, and the girls got to hold a Welsh Corgi. Gosh are those cute little buggers.

Do you have a knight in shining armor? Have you ever been helped by a good Samaritan? Ever gotten to BE the good Samaritan? Do you have a favorite dog? Do you like plaid?

Buck Up Little Camper, Everyting gonna be OTAY

I feel the need to do a "follow up" blog after my "HillBilly" post.

I need to tell you that I'm so grateful that God can take our HUGE boo-boos (have you seen Bruce Almighty? Remember when he's driving in the car and asking for a sign and is getting bunches of them but he's just not paying attention... yeah... totally me) anyways... He can use our boo-boos for GOOD.

Good things like - The Ladies. They are, hands down, worth any and all "suffering" I went through over those years with Hillbilly. They are the greatest things that have ever happened to me. So worth it.

Good things like - The many friends that I have that are reading this blog right now because I was married to the dork and got pregnant with Essie. It's that experience with the December 98 mommies that really changed how I "used" the internet. This blog is a direct result of that too. So had I not married him, I might not know any of you.

Good things like - Mr. B. All the timing had to work out for me to meet him when I did. And you know what, if I hadn't gone through all that poo, I wouldn't appreciate all the wonderfulness of Mr. B nearly as much as I do. If things are always good, we stop knowing what good is... it becomes normal and every day and the "status quo."

Good things like - finally getting to a point where I understand my own parents divorce. Let me tell you... there's some major freedom in having those questions answered.

Good things like - being able to counsel a young friend who was in a bad relationship but felt much like i did - that this was her one chance. I was able to share with her my experience, and I think save her from a similar mistake.

So... all that to say... Don't cry for me Bloggertina's!!!!!

Who Do You Say That You Are?

I was born in 1972. At that point computers were the size of large conference rooms and pretty much only big companies and the government had them. I went through school with black and green screens on Apple IIe's and such, playing Oregon Trail. High school... more of the same, except for a wonderful 9th grade semester spent in typing class on IBM's Selectrics or some such thing. I started college the fall of 1990. Computers there were little Mac's with a screen about the size of a tuna sandwich.

Somewhere between that first day of college and my last, Al Gore invented the internet, and the world as we knew it would never be again. Google arrived and pretty much, if you can type it, you can find it.

With the internet came "chat rooms" and "social networking"... places where you could meet people you never would have previously, and you can get to know more about them than you do about your own family. Well... you can learn what they tell you. You're at the mercy of their honesty.

I met my ex husband online. Let me preface all this by saying that I was overweight almost all my life, and my mom and some other influential people had pretty much drilled into my brain that men don't want to marry fat girls. All I really wanted in the world was to be married and have kids, and apparently that dream wasn't one for me. And life had so far pretty much proved them right. I was always the "Jolly best friend" to guys... but never someone they were interested in.

Then, as I said, I found the online world. A world where people got to know ME before they saw me. Where my wit and intelligence had a chance to beat out my size. I "met" various guys, but none of them were really "it". Then I met "HillBilly"... I was 23, he was 28 and a law student from Tennessee. We started talking online for house (e-mails, back and forth - pre IM).. then we started talking on the phone. He sounded a little older than 28, but I chalked it up to his accent. He was so nice and said such nice things. Told me about his family and his house he was buying.... then about 3 weeks after we started talking, he called me late one night to tell me that he wasn't really 28, he was 35, and he wasn't really a law student, he worked in a factory. Now, dear readers, should you ever find yourself in this position, EVER, this is where you RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But I didn't. He said he was so sorry, that he didn't realize he was going to develop feelings for me and... well... I forgave him and moved on. To make a long STUPID story short, he romanced me from afar, and i fell "in love." He came to visit me 3 months after we met. He looked older than I thought, but had a story about being outside all the time and loosing a lot of weight so he had wrinkles. And... stupid me... i bought it. And that weekend, we agreed to get married. No proposal mind you.. .just an agreement.

A couple months later I went to see him in Tennessee. That's when I found out that he wasn't 35... he was 47. Again, dear readers, should you find yourself in THIS outlandishly STUPID position, RUN RUN RUN. But... I agreed to marry him, and he was obviously the only person who would ever want to marry me, so I over looked it... all... and 3 months later married him.

I was with him for 10 years. And over that time uncovered lies. Lie after lie after lie. I watched him lie to our friends, to our families, to our kids... to me.

As you know... for a multitude of reasons, our marriage ended. I realize now, of course, that from the start I didn't know the real him. I took what he put out there online at face value, and I was wrong.

How I wish I could say that was the last time I was taken in by someone online. But it's not. I was on message boards with Mommy's and found out over time that some of them were QUITE less than honest. I've been sucked in by bloggers with tragic stories, only to find out later that it was all a lie.

So how do you do it? How do you read blogs and message boards and the like and let your heart get sucked into stories and yet protect yourself from getting emotionally attached to something that may or may not be true?

Any ideas?