American Idol... The "Top Downloads"... whatever that Means.

Ok... first of all I have to tell you that later in this post I will reveal something to you that TOTALLY cracked me up... but you'll have to wait for it.

The judges come out... Simon overtly hits on Ryan.

The Kids come out and... they've done something to Scott's hair... it's better.. but... worse.

They take a field trip (hmm.. do the underage kids - Allison - have to have a note from her parents to go?) to see Ryan record American Top 40. Another thing to call this is... Filler.

"Top Downloads" is the theme... which is about as nebulous as "Top 40 Hits"...

Anoop is first with some Usher song that I never caught the title of. Honestly I think I've heard Usher all of twice so... I'm not much help there. He's very sleek tonight - sleek hair, sleek jacket with one chain around an arm, sleek pants... and the song was... all over the place. I don't have a reference point for what it "should" sound like, but I can't imagine it would be a top download if it sounded ANYTHING like that. The judges weren't wild about it. Kara agrees with my past assessment that he seems a lot like a Frat boy when he goes into that kind of song. Hmm... not a fan tonight Anoop. Oh... and Anoop disagrees with them, and says "I mean, you know, her opinion is her opinion and all their opinions are their opinions".... yeah... I got dizzy too.

Does anyone else do dumb things like sit and watch commercials when you're watching a recorded program? Or is that just a blonde thing?

Megan is next - singing Turn Your Lights Down Low - and in her interview she's wearing overalls and a late turtleneck? And for the performance... jeans and a corset top and a good 43 pounds of necklaces. Friends... this girl has NO rhythm... AT ALL... NONE.... and she looks just spastic. And beautiful. Seriously... BEAUTIFUL girl... but just... I'm not feeling her. And neither are the judges. And all the audience does is boo and it's ANNOYING. OH - and the song had like 3 words... over and over and over.. and over. Paula wants her sitting on a stool... mostly to keep her from looking stupid (she didn't say that... that's my interpretation)

Danny is singing What Hurts The Most by Rascal Flats. Hmmm... I like this song. Ok.. it seems like he's running out of breath on the verse... but I like this better than watching him strain. But this is going to make me sad... thinking about his wife... and what this song must mean to him. Hmmm.. it was good. Sweet. He looks a little emotional. Paula loved it. Simon says it was his best performance so far. He even CLAPPED for him. WOW. The rest of the judges agree.

Allison is singing Don't Speak by No Doubt - hmm.. top download? Really?? It's a great song but from way before the itunes era. She's gonna play her guitar. She comes out... with her guitar... and an outfit that will NO DOUBT (ha ha ha) be on one of those "top American Idol Wardrobe Missteps" articles in a magazine at some point. Hmm.. she does a nice job of singing WAY to hard. No wonder her voice sounds like she's 46 and smokes 2 packs a day. I REALLY REALLY want to hear a soft ballad thing from her. She's proven the rocker chick thing. Let's see if you can do anything else. Randy likes her but doesn't get the outfit. The audience boo's Kara for saying she's a good singing. Yep.. I'm confused. And Simon says she shouted the song.. AND HE"s RIGHT AS USUAL.

Scott's doing a little Billy Joel - I Love You Just the Way You Are - just him and his piano. He's got... much more of a hair do than just the wild curly top thing. It's slicked back on the sides and.. controlled on top. Hmmm.. vocally... probably my favorite performances of his so far.. but still pretty "Easy Listening"... but well done Easy Listening. Kara thinks it was a good song choice. Paula liked it. Simon... well Simon must be sipping the happy juice because now this was Scott's best performance so far.

Matt is going to sing a little something from The Fray - You Found Me. Well, I've heard of the Fray, but I don't know that I know this song. Hm... they've got him out in the middle of the crowd. His lower notes seem to go flat and it's not half as energizing as what he did last week. And you know what I'm realizing about contemporary songs? They are the same line over and over and over and over and over... my WORD.. have we lost all originality. Back to Matt... Paula wasn't sold, Simon wasn't either. Matt.. doesn't take criticism well. He acts like a little petulant child. grrr...

Lil is singing I Surrender by Celine Dion. Hm.. I don't know this song either. Can Celine Dion REALLY be a top download?? Ok... here's the deal. I'm not a skinny girl.. at all... I've got junk in my trunk... as does Lil.. but someones gotta get girlfriend some spanxs or something.. cause I don't WANNA see her panty line in her dress that's too tight. As for the singing (OH MY GOD THE BACKUP SINGERS ARE SO FLAT IT'S NOT EVEN FUNNY)... It's... sung nicely.. but...kinda boring? AWWW - her kids are in the audience... awwww. And they have PLAID SHORTS ON!!!! Again they don't like her song choice and want to hear someone else's song. Kara wants to be wowed. Awww - her one little girl goes over to Randy and just hugs him for dear life!.... what a CUTIE!!!

Ok... here's the funny story.

I had a dream last night. I was at home and my phone rang. It was Adam Lambert. Calling to ask me to be his spiritual advisor. He says the song he's thinking of singing that night is "Jesus Christ, Superstar" and wants to know if he should or not. And I passionately tell him that when he sings from his heart people love it. But when he over performs, people think he is the devil"... and then I woke up. Weird.

Adam's up... singing "Play That Funky Music White Boy"... well, as his spiritual advisor I wouldn't have necessarily picked that one, but well see. Hmmm.. interesting.. the up-tempo, swagger filled (and for some reason doing some weird bendy knee thing) Adam is back, but the eyeliner and black nail polish aren't. I much prefer this. And the hair is slicked back again... He of course sings the song well. Though... it was just a lot of "AAAEEEEEE... AEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE". I still like last week best for him and probably always will, but this wasn't bad. It certainly wasn't the torture that Ring of Fire was. Paula goes first and says "True Genius does not fulfill expectations, True Genius shatters them." SERIOUSLY when did this girl get so coherent! Thank you Paula. Thank you for Just Saying No. Adam gives props to the band, which is cool. Good on ya boy.

And in the Pimp Spot tonight is... my boy Kris. Singing "Ain't No Sunshine"...hmm.. old song.. made new. Tonight he's gonna do a little piano for us. I SO appreciate people who can sing and play instruments. So it's Kris, a keyboard and some string players. VERY nice. Hmm.. methinks someone has said something about the singing out of the side of his mouth, because I'm not seeing it as much now... just once in a while. Hmmm.. OH - he got KARA standing up... usually it's just Paula. He rocks out the middle of it, and then ends it softly. DANG this boy amazes me. He's so natural and effortless. So himself. Ok. I'm gonna officially call myself a Kris fan. He's my choice for who I want to win. He won't win (Adam will) but that's Okay because then Kris can be free to do what he wants and will be amazing. The judges all adored him. Paula calls it his best performance to date. Simon says he found the confidence he wanted to see and liked the arrangement of the song. SERIOUSLY.. what is IN Simon's cup???




I believe I'm going to send a letter to the President, imploring him that since he's already cleaning various houses, can he PLEASE get rid of the Idol Backup Singers? Or the sound guy? Or whomever is responsible for them sounding HORRIBLE!!!

Who's going home? Well, I would say Megan but votefortheworst.com has gotten on her bandwagon so that's gonna keep her going for a while. I'm gonna guess we'll be saying goodnight to Scott tomorrow. I'm gonna guess Lil will be in the bottom three... though perhaps not. Yeah.. it's late and I can't decide anything without Eenie Meanie....

American Idol for REAL this time

It's Motown night. The kids (minus Michael) head to Detroit tonight. They visit where the Motown sound originated and meet Barry Gordy and Smokey Robinson.

So let's get down to the singing.

Oh (btw - Ryan has a suit on and he looks nice tonight)

Matt's up first - Singing "Let's Get It On" - a lot of websites are going on and on about the zit on Matt's forehead, which is CLEARLY a mole. SO people need to leave it alone. Matt's playing the piano and has a blue shirt, gray tie and blue cardigan (not having gotten the previous nights lavender memo).... and singing well... and then he gets up from behind the piano (good call - Paula should like that). Oh my... well... those pants don't leave much for the imagination! He's commanding the stage well and working it. And I gotta tell you, he's singing on key but his backup singers sound HORRIBLE. The judges... all like it. And no one says anything completely off the wall so we'll move on to....

Kris is singing "How Sweet It Is" - singing and playing guitar. Smokey likes his version. Kris hits the stage wearing.. some sort of military shirt with a whole lot of numbers on it and stuff... I don't get it but he's cute and turns in a solid performance. Very well done. Cara says it was artistic - it was Kris doing his own version. Simon wants him to believe in himself and swagger and stuff. SO... act like Simon I guess.

Scott is up next and I'm sorry, but some mean person has put this man in pink pants... really? Pink?? Oh... wow. So he's singing "You Can't Hurry Love"... and I'm worried this is going to be another Easy Listening Favorite. Ok... he starts out slow and then picks up the tempo. But I'm not wild about the arrangement. Very... piano bar. Paula thought he brought something different and then throws around some technical terms which make her sound pseudo intelligent. Simon REALLY didn't like it. Simon called it cheap and I kind of agree. Randy agrees with Simon and me. Cara liked the tempo but didn't like taking the liberties with the melody. Ahh - apparently they didn't tell Scott his pants were pink until 10 minutes before the show and he apologizes. Thank you Scott. You need to whap whoever dressed you with your cane.

Megan is singing "For Once In My Life". Can I just say... I love tattoos. I do think they're cool, but Megan's drives me NUTS., it makes her look off balance. She's got a little turquoise dress on and a flower in her hair, and a necklace that looks like a toddler day care classes was working on stringing things. And... she's shouting the song and it's both too low and too high for her. And she still seems SO awkward on stage. Ugh. It just wasn't that good. And Randy has made love for her and likes the outfit but not the song. Cara agrees. (Paula and Simon I think are playing footsie or some other inappropriate game). Paula thinks she's stunning but agrees about the song. Simon says Oh Dear and echo's everyone else's sentiments.

Anoop is performing "Oh Baby Baby"... He starts sitting on the stairs. He's got a tie and a shirt and a varsity jacket on... He's in his falsetto and it's a little on the weak side, but when he's in his regular range he's doing a great job. Very emotion-filled. Sweet and tender. Cara says it's hard to sing and agrees that his falsetto was a little weak but overall he did a good job. Paula wants more confidence but loved it. Simon says it was vocally great but he looked like he was falling asleep. Randy says he wants the party on but that worries me because that's when Anoop becomes Frat Boy Anoop and that's not good.

Michael ALMOST has a lavender shirt on.. but I think it's pink but it's CLOSE to lavender. Michael was sick and didn't go to Detroit and whatever, just sing whatever you're singing. Which is... "Ain't To Proud To Beg" (HA HA - The first time I typed "Aint' To Proud to Bed"... which makes it a totally different song)... Smokey tells him not to make it too sweet. Hmm... I really want to like Michael, and he's a cute teddy bear, but I'm just not feeling the singing. It's not that it's bad or good. It's just... there. Oh no.. it ends badly. Just... bad. Bad note. Paula wasn't wild about it,

(CAN WE JUST TAKE A MOMENT - you, in the studio audience - please STOP BOOING every time a judge says something "negative"... they're trying to be HELPFUL and it's ANNOYING when you boo)

Simon couldn't wait for it to end - it was all screaming and shouting. Randy didn't think he had the stuff to pull off an R&B thing.

Lil's singing "Heat Wave" - the trip to Motown REALLY struck something with her... which is totally cool... But now how will the singing go? ACK!!!! SHE'S MOVING AROUND THE STAGE!!! Thank you LIL!!!! And she's got fringe on - and that's FUN to draw!!! I'm enjoying this - her voice is nice (maybe a little shouty but...) and it just fits her. I'm not a big Lil fan but I liked it. Randy didn't like the front of the song and she was rushing (he might be right there). Cara gives the kiss of death (complimenting the looks first) and didn't think it was the right song choice. Paula disagrees and thought it was fresh. Simon thought it was an authentic tribute, but didn't think it was the right song choice. He wanted her to have a "moment."

Ok.. it's Adam. Singing "Tracks of My Tears"... Adam's going slow and tender. Did I just write that? Adam, Slow, and Tender... in once sentence?? Jesus? Are you coming now??? Holy... crud... he's got his hair slicked back and the nail polish is gone... and there's no eyeliner, and he's got a black shirt and light gray suit on - and just a guitar and bass (as in upright) as accompaniment. He's singing it mostly in falsetto... but it's amazing. I LIKE this Adam. I'm still convinced he's not Adam playing the role of "sensitive singer" but I don't care... I LIKED THIS A LOT. OOO - Smokey gives him a standing O. LOL- my phone just rang, Kat wants to know how I'm gonna draw that!!! Cara says it's one of the best of the night. Paula says she likes his clean look and no nail polish and says it's an element of surprise and she likes it. Simon says it is THE best performance of the night. Randy says it was tender and hot. Wow... I may need to pause it for a moment to collect my thoughts.

Danny - "Get Ready" He leaves off the ends of the verses to have the backup singers sing it. Smokey tells him not to. But he does. Nice... smack the Legend upside the back of the head and tell him off. Grrrr... Um... he sings it okay... growly and loud. Do people not know how to be loud but yet controlling?? YOu don't have to scream. Paula liked it, Simon called it clumsy and amateurish. Randy loved the energy but said it wasn't the best. Cara thought it was good, not great. I gotta say... I'm not wild about it. Oh - Danny had on a black shirt and black jeans... eh.

Allison is finishing the night with "Daddy Was a Rolling Stone" - Allison is wearing parts of several outfits - lace leggings, tight blue mini-dress with lots of chains and then a white bolero jacket. She sings the heck of the song and you would think. Actually she's one who can be loud but still musical. She really hit it. Randy says she's dope. Cara can't believe she was in the bottom 3 last week. (Olivia Newton John is in the audience). Simon has drawn a mustache on Paula's face. But Paula likes the performance. Simon says she a survivor and it was one of her best performances (all this while having a total giggle fit - that Simon... he's a nut).

Ok... so... going home tomorrow? Michael. I know... I said that last week but I gotta think he was the weak link tonight.

American Idol... Well.... Not Really

Humph. It's Tuesday night. My Sharpies are ready and there's no American Idol... well, at least not the kind I want to watch. Instead it's another American...and an Idol to some... President Obama.

Well... dang it... I'm in the mood to review and draw so... I will. Mr. President, meet Lizzy and her Sharpies.

Ok... he's walking out. He has an interesting cadence to his walk. He's standing at a podium wearing a suit. I wonder how many suits he has? He's got a red tie on tonight. I remember when he got together with all the former Presidents... The Republicans had blue ties on and the Dem's had red... and President Obama had... blue. Whoops.

Apparently there's gonna be some kind of tax cut. That's gonna show up on my check on April 1. Which is good because my rent is going up.

President Obama gets a lot of flack about his use of teleprompters... and it appears tonight he's not using the standard ones beside the podium:

But rather one rolling text under the camera he's looking at.

There's the phrase invest... a lot.

SOmething about health care... and I heard Medicaid. And believe you me, talk to a parent with a child who gets medicaid and they can tell you all kinds of ways they could freaking revamp THAT system.

He said something about not spending but saving. Which... seems odd considering the size of the budget he's proposing... not a lot of saving.

We all need to be worried about the greater good... I think.

Okay - onto questions:

First is Jennifer Loven - She's got a nice suit on with a wide label and is in DESPERATE need of some conditioner. She asked about the regulation of the banking industry but it didn't seem to be wise with the troubles we've had in the past. The answer is that apparently AIG is different and... yeah... something... we don't have an FDIC for insurance companies. Um... there was a lot more but I get bored easily.

Next Up is Chuck Todd - I'm always intrigued by people who have a first name for a last name... I bet that gets so messed up when they do the last name first thing.... Anyways... Todd Comma Chuck is wearing a nice dark suit with a blue tie. He's got a kicky goatee and much better hair than Miss Loven. Chuck asks "Why haven't you asked for something specific for the public to sacrifice".... President Obama then... stutters a bit and says he's gonna answer in several parts. Hm... let's listen. I'll tell you if I think he answers. He thinks folks are sacrificing left and right. He's right there. I think Chuck's a little off on that question. Yeah for fast forward!!!

Ok - I've come up with a drinking game for when the President talks. If she says heath care, energy or education, one shot. If he says growth, 2 shots.

Chuck has a followup question and yeah... I think the President answered it. Move on Chuck.

Now we have Jake Tapper who has on a lavender shirt and lavender stripped tie. Nice Jake - different!! He asks if the President will sign a budget if it doesn't include a middle class tax cut? (And some other stuff.. but again... )

OOO - Health Care!! DRINK!!

ENERGY - 2 times - DRINK DRINK

Education!!! DRINK!!!!

Thanks for that question Jake!!!! I needed a little relaxing!

Energy!!! Drink!!! Energy AGAIN!!!! DRINK!!!!

Health Care, Energy, Education!!! DRINK DRINK DRINK.

Man... he keeps this up and I'll stimulate the economy all on my own just with alcohol sales!!!

Ok... Up next is Chip Reid. Chip is another dark suit and blue tie. He asked about the amount of the budget and isn't that contrary to what he's saying he wants to pass on to our children. Or something like that. Um.... GROWTH!!! 2 times. 3 times!!! Energy! Education!! Heath care!!! My bottle's almost GONE!!!

Can I be honest with you guys? I really wish any of this made sense to me. As a former presidential candidate it probably should, but it really... doesn't. It's confusing and... yeah.... I think I'd rather have the President sing something from Motown....

The President does a lot of gesturing with his right arm. And when you watch him on fast forward it's almost like he's doing a Hula.

Next up the President asks if Lourdes is there? Who??? Ok... she's a lady with a Spanish accent and asking about the problem with the violence in Mexico and it spilling over the border. She's wearing a LOVELY lavender jacket. (Sorry - the Lavender didn't show up well at all in scanning) LOL - he said something about "these drug cartels that have gotten completely out of hand"... because as long as they play nice we'll be happy to have them? Oh... I think not.

Now it's... Kevin's turn. Kevin is from Stars & Stripes. And he has a gray jacket with a lavender tie. Hmmm... I need to go check style.com and see if lavender is the new black. He asked about budget cuts in veteran's programs. The President says there's a whole host of issues that need to be looked at and that the savings should come from reforming the procurement system. Um... I'm lost. What are we procuring exactly? Military toilet paper or bombers?

Ed Henry, come on down!!!!! Well... no... not really... stay there and ask your question... with your fun red-stripped tie (Seriously - guys are at SUCH a disadvantage in work wear... suits suits suits... I wonder what Adam from AI would wear if he were a reporter???) Ed asks about the budget and aren't we going to just have a bigger debt with all this spending. And the President answers with a lot of health care answers which of course means that I'm just about under the table. I hope I can drink and draw... we'll see won't we???

Oh - Major Garrett - he's from Fox... I see him ALL the time... ALL day long. I think his name is really Homer. At any rate, Major has on a medium gray suit (actually TOTALLY matches the color of his hair) a light blue shirt (everyone else aforementioned was white unless specified lavender) and a yellow tie.... He asks about the global currency question and stuff and he says we all have to take steps to lift the economy.

And something squeeked.

And the President called Major "Garrett".... see... last names shouldn't be last names.

And the President doesn't see the need for a Global Currency.

Now it's Mike Allen - CRIMENY - what's with all these double first name guys??? Mike is balding with glasses, which I'm excited to draw, because these guys are getting BORING. Mike has a blue shirt and a green and pink stripped tie. Hm... who dressed Mike? MORE IMPORTANTLY there is some sort of sound guy behind Mike with a PLAID SHIRT ON!!!! He (Mike... not the guy with the plaid shirt) wants to know if the president is reconsidering his plan to cut interest rate deduction and does he regret proposing it. The President thinks it's the right thing to do and then said "Tax Policy" which is my cue to fast forward.

OOO - now I will TOTALLY stand behind the President in this. The question basically is that isn't it a bad idea to reduce the amount of a deduction that people get for charitable contributions because people will stop giving. Basically the President said "I'm hoping that when you're giving a contribution it's to help the guy down the street, not just get a tax deduction" AMEN!!!

Hasn't it been an hour yet???

It is Kevin Chappell's turn to ask a question now. He's got on a dark suit and a GOLD tie.. NICE. He's asking about the great number of children who are now homeless and what the President would say to them. The President says he needs to make sure the parents have a job. Which is true. But they have to be jobs that PAY something. $7.50 at MacDonald's don't cut it my friends.

Ok... to Ann Compton. She's wearing a red jacket and pearls and has a cute bob haircut. She asks if race has come into play at all in the last 64 days or has the last 64 days been a color-blind time (I SWEAR she said color-blonde). He says he thinks the last 64 days have been him trying to get the economy going.

Jon Ward - MORE GLASSES - Yeah!!! AND ANOTHER LAVENDER TIE!!! Did I not get the memo???? John wants to know about the Presidents thoughts about stem-cells and the morality and specifically that more progress has been made with adult stem cells than embryonic. Good question. HE answers that's a hard one and he does wrestle with it. He thinks his guidelines meet the test.

My little clock says we're at 52 minutes.... Surely we're almost done? Give me 2 hours of idol ANY night over this.

Stephen Collins - gray suit gray shirt, gray tie... some sort of European accent. Wondering about Israel. Seriously.... this conflict has been going on for a couple bajillion years. Let's not even pretend we're going to solve it, mmmkay?

I don't know that Stephen doesn't have legs... but I'm bored so I'm pretending.

WOOO HOO!!!! It's done!!!! Thank you Mr. President. It's time for Dancing With The Stars!!! Woz is SO going home.

This & That....

First... I've been following this Natasha Richardson situation and just got home from work and found out she passed away. I think the only thing I ever saw her in was the remake of The Parent Trap, but I really enjoyed her in it, and I liked that she had been married for a long time and just... seemed normal. Ya know? I'm just so sad for her family. So my heart goes out to her.

Have you been following the whole AIG bonus situation? As most of you know I'm subjected to Fox News all day so I've had no choice. And I gotta tell you, I'm conflicted. I really think tying government & business so close together isn't a good thing. You know the whole separation of church and state? I believe in the separation of business and state, too. I DO think that CEO's and upper management in many companies make an obscene amount of money. But I don't know that it's the governments place to say how much is "too much"... but when they involved our tax money they should, right? Well.. that's why our tax money shouldn't be involved in this. I realize that AIG is a huge business and if they go under it's a big deal... but it seems to have turned into a big deal anyways, hunh? One thing I wonder about this bonus amount is, are there some just... "mid level" people involved? People who were counting on their bonus (because they're in arms of the company NOT involved in the mass failure) to pay their mortgages?? Now they're all being pressured to give the money back. It's all a big mess isn't it? And now there seems to be quite a bit of speculation about when congress & the white house knew about the planned bonus payout....

Maybe I'm glad I didn't win the election this time around...

I have a problem on Tuesday night... American Idol, Dancing with the Stars and Biggest Loser are all at the same time, and I can only record 2 at a time. ARGH!!!!!!!! So I bailed on Biggest Loser and apparently it was pretty good last night. Fudge.

I'm watching AI Results- Michael just broke my heart - saying that his daughter asked him why he doesn't want to be with her any more... awwwww... poor baby. But... if my prediction is correct, she won't have that problem much longer.

Ok... so Danny is safe, Lil is safe, Anoop is safe, Allison and Michael are standing... Allison is in the bottom three... (I think she didn't hear that right at first...) Michael is also in the bottom three....

And BREAK....

Brad Paisley is singing his new song. Have I ever told you about my ex's cousin's husband? He's a songwriter in Nashville - he co-wrote the song "Have You Forgotten" by Darryl Worley, and also a song that Brad recorded - "Waitin' On A Woman." His name is Wynn Varble and he's one VERY funny guy!!! At any rate - I like Brad but that performance was a little slow... and off... makes me wonder if that stage is hard to hear yourself on...hmm...

Ok... Scott is safe.... Megan is also safe...Matt is safe.... Kris is safe (THANK YOU!!!) so now we're down to Alexis and Adam... Alexis is in the bottom three, Adam is safe.....

So the bottom three is Allison, Michael and Alexis... but we have to wait for Carrie Underwood to sing....

And commercials.

And Carrie - dueting with Randy... and it's ok... I'm not a big Randy Travis fan

Ugh... just get ON with it already!

Ryan just asked if one of the two would be worth using the judges save for and Simon said yes. My bet is Alexis.

OH MY GOD - Michael is safe!!! I was wrong.... Ok... now am I right about the judges keeping her? Oh lordy.. Simon just told her it all comes down to this performance... NO PRESSURE HONEY..... I can't imagine them using their one save the WHOLE season this early.... Hmm... I think she forgot some of the words?? Something seemed off. Simon says it was good but not good enough... so Alexis goes home. wow...

Ok... I wasn't a big Alexis fan, so I'm okay......

Michael is ONE lucky guy.

Freek... the President is on next Tuesday I guess that takes care of my Tuesday Night Too Much TV problem.

AI Goes Country....

Ok... here we are... are you ready? I'm watching solo tonight because my girl Kori is at DISNEY...
It's Country Night... should make for interesting music for some of these guys.

The first minutes are spent with Ryan and the Judges blah blah blahing... really... do you want to know what they said? No... you don't.

Randy Travis is showing the kids the ropes and says it's a strong group... and he's in the audience!

Michael's up first - Singing Ain't Goin' Down (Til The Sun Comes Up) By Garth - He's gonna have to MOTOR mouth this thing. Randy said "if you mess up the words, you aren't going to get it back"... and he's right. WOW... there was one spot where he lost it a smidge, but he's got it. He could use a little more stage charisma...he just kinda wanders around. Randy said it was fun but didn't think it showed his range. Kara - missed the big notes from him but can't believe he could get all those words. Paula - he and fun so she had fun and some other stuff from her over botoxed mouth. Simon couldn't understand a single word. And called it Karaoke... something he's NEVER called ANYONE before...

Allison - Lyin Cheating Heart - Oh - thank you stylist for upping Allison's pant size one from last week. That's much better. Good song choice for her - she does seem to have a REALLY fast vibrato... like she's laying on a magic fingers bed while she sings. And again... she's got pipes - and she can blow - but can she do anything else??? The judges gave her a mixed bag... Simon wasn't blown away, Paula agrees with me that she needs to try other stuff.

OH NO!!!! KRIS!!!!! Is singing Essie's and my Song!!!! "To Make You Feel My Love" - Oh my... I adore this song... please don't hurt it Kris... He's sitting on a stool. My boss pointed out that he sings out of the side of his mouth... and he does... but he's singing this BEAUTIFULLY... not a direct copy of Garth or Trisha (who both recorded it). Oh... ended on a high falsetto note.. hm... AWWWW - he made his dad cry!!!! Paula - is surprised... pleasantly so. She says he had some pitch moments... I'm not sure I caught those.... Simon - THOUGHT IT WAS TERRIFIC!!! I adore Simon... he liked the song choice, said he was in control... WOOO HOOOO. Randy- liked the tender moments. Kara - thought it beautiful!!! YES KRIS!!!!

Lil - Ok - you have to know that tonight is a stretch for her... being an R&B girl... Oh my... she's singing Independence Day by Martina McBride - BIG song... wow... Hmm... The judges never mention this... but to me she's always just a little flat... and she really needs to start.. moving around.. engaging the audience... she just stands and sings. All in all she did an okay job... I'm just not blown away... Randy said it was interesting he wasn't sold.... Kara I guess liked it sort of kind of... Paula says she looks good... Simon called her Little LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!! he said he looked like someone who was singing at a wedding.... blah blah blah..

Oh boy - it's Adam's turn... this'll be interesting... Ring of Fire - Randy does NOT like it... or the song...or really Adam. Ok... this version has this mid-eastern sitar thing... oh the judges are going to eat this up... I hate it. I can't even DESCRIBE what he's doing. I don't want to. It's just weird and sounds a little like when a cat gets caught in an engine. Kara - not sure what to make of it...she says it was strange but she liked it Paula - says he's true to who he is and some other stuff that blah blah... Simon- direct quote "What The Hell Was That?" and called it indulgent rubbish and Randy Travis TOTALLY agrees and is not showing it. Randy calls it current and young. Again... Simon is the wise guy...

Ok - Scott is singing Wild Angels by Martina McBride -I think Scott got a haircut which is good. Randy was surprised by Scott. So he's playing the piano which bodes well. He is an incredible pianist. Hmm.. here's my thought on Scott... if this was "America's Next Top East Listening Star" he would have it sewn up in heart beat. But I'm just not feeling the whole package... his voice just isn't quite full enough or deep enough... it's airy. Paula - called it impressive & lovely and wants him to mix it up. Simon thinks Paula stupid. Simon wants him to pick better songs... apparently he lost out on some first choices in song choices. Randy - wants hot vocals (I agree)... Kara - wants him to up his game.

Alexis - before the break Ryan said something about people thinking Alexis looks like Dolly Parton... um....NO. She's singing Jolene - oh good song choice for her - she'll nail this. Well on the chorus she does well... then she does this falsetto riff and it was NOT good. She did well. I'm not a big fan of hers, but... Randy - says she had some pitch problem...

OK - here's my issue with the judges... one person they say "You need to change it up and do something different, you're the same every week" and then the next "You didn't sing the way you usually do and I don't like that" ... JEEZ wizz... these people are hard to please.

Back to Alexis.... Simon thought it was okay and forgettable.

Danny - Jesus Take the Wheel - Hmmm....he's got a SNOW white jacket on which is coming across a little institutional (if you get my drift). He's busting out the chorus... a little too much if you ask me... and a little too riffy.... the boy CAN hold a note... I like that. Kara liked the second half of the performance... Paula likes the variety (I agree with Paul) (HOw many glasses does Mr. Danny have) Simon doesn't like what he's wearing (seriously - Simon and I are soul sisters tonight)

Anoop is singing You Were Always on my Mind - should be REALLY interesting... last week was frat boy... this week should be different - Ok... Anoop's eyes are AMAZING... So dark and expressive. Oooo he is HITTING this out of the park. Controlled, soft and strong tender and sweet. Oh ANOOP... I'm proud to be in NC tonight!!!!! Paula likes it. Simon says he went from zero to Hero and says it was a good choice and one of his favorite performances of the night. Randy says this is why they wanted him in the top. Kara liked it too.

Megan (now Joy, not Cochery) - I Go Walking After Midnight - Randy says we'll have to like it. Ok.. this dress is ALL boobs... and she does NOT know what to do with her body when she's singing (and looks a LOT like Reese Witherspoon tonight) and... I just can NOT get into her voice... it's just weird.... Randy was impressed... Kara says she did good cause she has the flu... apparently Miss Megan was even in the hospital.. Simon says she should have the blue every week.

And to wrap up the evening we have Matt singing So Small (I think?) Randy's not sure but then he sees his version and likes it. Ok.. Matt's playing piano... will they say he's not connected with the audience? He's another amazing pianist. I miss my piano. He's keeping it soft on the verses... and ROCKING the chorus... wow... NICE performance. Kara likes it. Paula can't say big words. Simon thinks he out sang Danny. And Randy liked it too. They're loving him tonight!

Ok... off to finish the pictures cause you KNOW I won't be letting you down!!!!!

Who's heading home?? Michael.... and.... Scott? Honestly... I don't know... it was a good night.

AI Results

I have a cold and I'm miserable.

New Rule - the judges can save someone.

The idols are staying in a tricked out bomb of a mansion.

Anoop bathes with his clothes on.

It's season 8.

They sang a medly of Jackson 5 hits.... I fast foward through group performances. YUCK.

Then there was some blah blah blah recappy stuff.

Oh - and now it's the Ford commercial/video. Blah blah blah...

Pass me a kleenex.

Light dimming. Michael is standing. I picked him as a possibility to go. But he's safe.

I'm gonna guess Anoop then.

Allison is.........safe.

Jasmine... another of my picks to go... Well.. they played the going home music but we don't know.

Matt G doesn't know what he's doing. But he's safe.

Kris... I like that boy.. he is......

Megan has been attacked by wild snails on her neck... and she is....

Kris is safe.

Megan is joining Jasmine.

Lordy this gets confusing.

Megan is safe. Jasmine is going home. Yeah - I called that.

But now she's singing while the judges decide if they want to keep her. How much would that suck? Not only does America want you but the judges don't think you're worth keeping. Ouch.

So do the judges want to keep her?

She's crying. Ryan asked if she's ok. Well DUH she's not.

Ok... we're back with Kanye West - I can't say I'm a big Kanye fan and I'm just not in the mood tonight. Fast foward....

Scott is..... safe.

Alexis is..... safe.

Danny is... wearing plaid... so of COURSE he's safe.

Anoop is next... Hmm... I think Anoop go bye bye. But Jorge is left... Hm... Anoop is headed to center stage.

Adam blah blah blah blah blah blah safe.

Jorge is standing, Lil is next to him. Lil will stay, Jorge and Anoop will end up in the middle together.

Ah - called that.

And it's... Kelly Clarkson...

And Anoop is... safe.

Jorge go home.

I'm cool with that.

Nice guy but just not my fav.

He's gonna sing while they deliberate. They aren't going to save him.

I'm going to take drugs and go to bed....

AI - 3/10/09 - Michael Jackson Night - With a Lizzy Surprise!!!!

They start out with the judges coming out of an opening stage. Holy CRUD - what did Paula do to herself? Did she have plastic surgery? Did her bronzer blow up? It's just not good.

Here's a little surprise for you - I'm going to start giving you visuals of the contestants each week. As I, and my sharpie, see them.

First - we're watching. Essie says "Oh Michael Jackson! I love him! I LOVE HIM!!!" Gert says "ME TOO!!!!!! Who is he?" LOL

Lil is up first... The Way You Make Me Feel. She's hitting it hard. And good. And sadly attacked by some pink tulle on her neck. And some weird 80's high waisted pants. But I think she sang it well. Randy said she kicked off Season 8 right. He says that every week. Kara liked it. Paula liked the palate of what Lil was wearing. Simon didn't like the song choice (um... she's limited to MJ songs... there are only so many choices) and didn't like what she was wearing. Interesting that they went from putting her in the sweet spot (last to sing) in her semi-final round and now put her in the spot of death (first.) Up next is Scott. Live!!! (Better than dead.. what would be awkward.)

Scott sings Keep The Faith and plays piano - he ROCKS at the piano. Not so much the vocal. So clunker notes and the falsetto thing really didn't work for him. Kara loved the piano playing, and said he stayed true to himself. Paula loved it. Simon didn't like the song. Jeez - he's impossible to please. Randy... felt he went safe.

Danny sings PYT - one of my favorites - IT started out a little rocky - kind of slow - but then he starts rocking it... WOW - great vocals- strong and really believable. The judges collectively love it. Simon doesn't like his dancing, but Danny agrees so it's cool.

Michael - You Are Not Alone - Good song choice - slow and a little sexy... (some people like a little sexy oil man)... Good vocal tone - not nasal or too gruff. And he REALLY draws me in with his smile. Mmmmm.... The judges agree with me. As do others.

Jasmine - I'll Be There- not too hard to forget the words... there's like 7 of them. She does a good job. Her dress looks like my grandma's afghan. And she needs some stage presence. LOL - Kara just said she has great stage presence. I think she's a little boring. Paula says she was just a little flat (well, she called it under but I think we all know the technical term). I've said it before, I'll say it again - give her some life under her belt and come back with some real heart in it.

Kris - Remember the Time - he's wearing PLAID!!!!! He's playing his guitar and just SO dang adorable. He's comfortable on stage and engaging and the girls in the audience are TOTALLY eating him up. I really like him. The judges seemed to like him. He has plaid on, how could you NOT????

Allison - Give It To Me (I don't know this song)... she sings the crap out of the song. I'm not sure she's capable of soft. She actually scares me a little bet. I'm pretty sure she could kick my arse. Leather jacket and skirt with chains hanging off... yep. I'm scared. The judges love her and say she totally knows who she is and blah blah blah.

Anoop - Beat It - He comes out... and... yeah... really, how do you sing this song? I'm telling you even Michael Jackson couldn't pull that song off anymore. The vocals...just... it's not even really a song in some ways, you know???? The judges pretty much agree. Note to contestant - if the judges fight over who has to talk first, it is NOT a good sign. They all thought it was pretty karaoke. And I have to agree. Kind of like karaoke night at the frat house.

Jorge - Never Can Say Goodbye - Well... it was... kinda all one note. And cheesy. Oh No No... The judges aren't wild about the song - and poor Jorge is trying to answer in a language that's not his first... and it's ranking up there with sportscasters who come up to the skater from Upper Petrosk (which is just north of Lower Petrosk - YO MEL!!!!!) and ask them "You seemed nervous tonight, can you tell us about the preparations you make before you hit the ice" And the skater gets this deer in the headlights look and just keeps saying "Hoppy. Veddy Hoppy".

Megan - Rockin' Robin - Wow... this is old school but I have to say this is my most favorite performance of hers. You can see she's trying REALLY hard not to shimmy, and most of the time she's managed to keep it under control. But it makes her look like she's trying to hard to NOT do it she's looking uncomfortable. Um... she cawed at the end... Oh.... My. Could have done without that. Kara says it was good but eh.... and Paula says something about more than her beauty, and Simon REALLY didn't like it and really neither did Randy.

Adam - Black or White - Oh my... he's a good singer - there's no way around it. But can he sing softly? Can he express his own emotions? Can he be ADAM? Not Adam the performer? Paula is wetting herself with excitement. And says he's got more stage presence than anyone. DUH - HE'S BEEN IN MUSICAL THEATER... that's quite different than someone coming off an oil rig.

Matt - Human Nature - (I love this song) - This guy is SO a Justin Timberlake (HEY KAT -you can have HIM on your pillowcase!!!!) ... My respect level goes up a notch for anyone who plays an instrument while they're singing. He's going into a falsetto at the end, which isn't really grabbing me, but it was good. The judges apparently mostly agreed with me. Simon called it meat and potatoes. It would suck to follow Adam the Screamer.

Alexis - Dirty Diane - Wow... um... I'm not sure. Pretty much screaming, and pretty much 2 words... didn't really show me she's capable of singing. Kara liked her, Paula liked her but said she over sang it. Simon & Randy agree.

Ryan is saying they're changing the rules of the show tomorrow. WHY do they do this mid=season? Just leave the freaking thing alone.

Ok... so two are going home. I say Jasmine & Michael. (Sorry Kori)