I recently managed to watch all of the series Parenthood, and REALLY enjoyed it. Can't wait for it to come back on this fall. However there was one episode that really troubled me. One of the very first shows, a set of parents become suspicious about their teenage daughter's activities. The uncle suggests they break into her computer to see what's up. They head upstairs and first the parents are uneasy about "breaking into her room" and then don't know the password to her computer, and have no idea about her facebook status.
I was kind of miffed by all this. First of all, I will never and have never had any second thoughts about entering my children's rooms. First of all, they aren't THEIR rooms, they're MY rooms and I'm letting them use them. Second, there will be no computers with passwords I don't know. And third, if you wanna be on facebook, you have to friend me, and I WILL know your password. (My favorite punishment for Essie right now is to change her fb password - quite a deterrent I must say) I just can't imagine parents of a 15-year-old being that out of touch with their kids.
What are your thoughts?
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16 comments:
I have norton online family on all the computers and I get emailed on questionable activity (I set the parameters of what's ok) and the first time I can't get into their stuff because they changed the password... is the last time they'll have access to the computer. Period.
I'm right there with you on the rooms too. My house. They can hate it all they want, but I will know what they're doing until they move out. ;)
Weird thing is, the media and all the shows show how it is so "wrong" to invade our kids privacy...YEAH! We have every right to know what our children are doing online and otherwise. I also don't believe children need cell phones and all the distractions that come from texting, etc.....society is really screwed up and I believe the advertising and the media have been slowly brainwashing everyone into thinking THIS IS THE WAY IT SHOULD BE....
in other words, I agree with you!
In total agreement with you.
Of course, there is such a thing as privacy. With limits. But our job as parents is to be nosy and involved in our kids' lives until they're old enough to make their own decisions wisely.
Like, when they're fifty.
I'm totally, a thousand percent with you. My roof, my rules. Once she's paying the bills, she can have all the privacy she wants and do what she wants. I figure that won't be 'til after college, so she has many more years of Big Brother - erm, Mommy.
Both of mine have fb accounts. Guess who set them up? Guess who logs on them REGULARLY (read: DAILY) just to check things out (OK...busted...I do it for my CityVille, too!) I log in to their email accounts regularly as well. And - the thing of it is, THEY KNOW THIS. I don't see it as an invasion of privacy because I am not doing anything they don't know I'm doing. It was stipulated in the rules from day one.
My kids live in MY house. They have "privacy" insofar as I try to remember to knock before entering their bedrooms; however, I don't always wait for a "come in!" My children will not have their own computers and/or televisions in their bedrooms. We have a bonus room for that. It houses their computer, TV, XBOX, etc.
Oh yeah...and "their" phones. Those are MY phones. I read the texts every evening. They know that too. They know if they delete it and I find out (by looking at the bill and such) they are in DEEP $%^&!
The Boy has an iPhone. He does not have an iTunes account; it is mine. He does not know the password so even free apps have to be approved by me prior to downloading!
Agree 1000%.
It is my favorite show on TV these days. Love the way they show the challenges of families with special needs. It is not all rainbows and sunshine. In fact, it rarely is. So very well written.
I think we are in the era of parents who are too busy being their kid's friend. I am not their friend. I am not here to be liked or for my own personal validation. I get that from FB, when you LIKE me! ;)
Preachin'to the choir!
Both of my kids have facebook accounts and I have the password to both of them...and lets just say I am very very nosey!
These shows are all about making things that we would normally not approve of, Okay. That's the government's input.
I agree 1000% percent with everything you said. As long as they are in MY house, I'm gonna know what the heck is going on. ( Or at least as much as I can).
My kids don't have their own computers & never will, so that's not an issue here. I don't know the passwords for my teens' FB accounts, and but we are FB friends. If I suspect they are up to anything with their FB accounts, I can keep them off of my computer and take away their phones, thereby ending their access to FB. But so far we haven't had any problems like that.
I also would have no problem searching their rooms if I suspect I need to for any reason.
My house, my rules which means they can have privacy when they move out. Period. I refuse to be out of touch with what it going on with them and their friends.
I completely agree. I wish more parents were like the ones who have commented here! Today some other teachers and I were talking about how inappropriate some of our female students' posts on FB are. That can only be because their parents don't care.
It's that notion that we are "friends" with our kids. NOT. It isn't your room until you pay for it. Same goes with the phone, the computer and your hairstyle.
My sister got exceedingly angry with me last week when I TOLD her daughter that intentionally hitting me with a shopping cart was a bad idea. I didn't say please don't hit me, thank you. NO. She's a child. I'm an adult.
I figure if my parenting doesn't enrage my kids at least once a day, I'm not doing my job.
I am thankful we haven't reached that step yet but I know it is fast approaching. As far as privacy, the computer and pw's go I'm in total agreement!
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