Dear Wanna-be-Pawners:
I watch Pawn Stars, and Hardcore Pawn... cause... they're freakishly entertaining. Here's my words of advice if you're headed in to pawn something. How much do you think your item is worth? Ok. Take that number and divide it by two. Then take your result, and divide it by three. Take that number and divide it by 2. Take that number and reduce it by 75%. That number you arrived at? That's going to be the MAX you get from a pawn guy when he's in a good mood on a good day. Please stop thinking that because you bought the console TV in 1978 for $500 that it's now worth $495. And just because something was on your Grandma's mantle for years doesn't mean it's worth anything now. Please remember that the Pawn guy needs to SELL your item for a PROFIT.
Dear Teen-Moms,
99% of teen baby-daddy's are going to disappoint you. You think you're not ready? They're even less ready. Most of them aren't going to change baby diapers or get up in the middle of the night or walk the floor with a sick baby. So... a word of advice.... save the sex for when you grow up. Yeah... I know you think you're grown up. You're not. I promise. Save the sex for when you are in a MATURE relationship with a man who is employed (and you are too) and then when you have the "oops, the condom broke" you're at least a LITTLE more likely to be able to handle the situation - as will he.
Dear Garden Fresh Gourmet Salsa,
You've done it. You have perfected Salsa. The best combo of spice and sweet - the Jack's Special is... perfection. I am seriously considering a total salsa diet. I have actually had DREAMS about your salsa. Thank you.
Dear People who Hire People,
You're missing out not interviewing me. Seriously.
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8 comments:
They don't know what they're missing, Lizzy.
Still no word from Children's? Have you tried a follow up call? I know the HR dept at my hospital is famous for "losing" applications (despite the fact that they're online now).
Hardcore Pawn? Seriously? The shows people come up with...
I must try this salsa.
I'm glad to hear that I'm not the only one watching Pawn Stars. I love that show. And yes, your formula is pretty dead on. :-)
And I'm glad to hear that I'm also not the only one watching Teen Mom or 16 & Pregnant. I am completely fascinated by those shows. And yes, I find myself screaming at the tv when those girls have the nerve to be surprised when these teen dads let them down...AGAIN. So sad.
I SOOOOO wish that you lived here because I just feel confidant that I could make some calls and at the very least get you some interviews. I'm sending you as many good vibes and interview zen that I possibly can.
I love me some Teen Mom 2 right now.
Good luck on the job hunt!
Do these prospective employers know there is an entire "nation" of people who voted for you for president? (Did you remember to put that on your resume?)
Pawn shows... I love them too. I have come to think of them as modern day appraisers. Go in there, get their judgement on value, go home and put that stuff on eBay! ha!
I know nothing of pawn brokers and teenage mothers -- they both kind of scare me. :)
But I'd hire you if I had a job to give... :)
Those girls on Teen Mom haven't got a clue. Not even an inkling of a clue...
I've never heard of that salsa but I'm always in the market for a good one. Thanks for the recommendation!
Good luck in the job hunt!
I consider myself something of a salsa aficionado. I will be trying this salsa. Oh yes, I will.
I'm with Brainella, I'd hire you in a heartbeat.
We've also gotten hooked on the Junkin and Auction shows!!!
Sure you don't wanna come a little north?
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