For Your..... Health?

In order for the girls to start school, we had to have their immunization records transferred from NC to GA. Now, I would think that bringing their shot records to their new school would cover it. I was wrong. I was told by the lovely lady at their new school that I needed to take the records to The Health Department and have them transferred. MMm... okay. I asked if she could tell me where the nearest The Health Department was located, because I was new in town and didn't have internet (that's a blog for another day). She happily printed off directions for me and the Ladies & I headed out.

Several several several miles and one u-turn later, we found The Health Department. It was a little after lunch time, and the parking lot was full. We stalked someone walking out and nabbed their spot, gathered out paper work and headed in. On the door was a sign

Because 9 million people didn't take

Care of their child's school registration

in the last 3 months that they've known they

needed to do it and all showed up today

we aren't taking any more get-your-kid-into-school

appointments today. Come back tomorrow at 8:15

and hope to God you're lucky.

Ok... it didn't really say that. It said they were full, sorry for the inconvenience and come back tomorrow.

So... we came back tomorrow. Arrived at 8:15. Walked in the door and told the receptionist what we needed. We were given forms to fill out, and 2 little pieces of construction paper with numbers on it. 70 and 71. We were ushered into a room with 3,624 people in it. I believe actual don't-piss-off-the-fire-department number would have been around ... 50 people. There was a tv, playing morning tv shows, but no sound. In the corner were 3 seats together, so the Ladies and I took a seat and I proceeded to fill out the paperwork. Got that wrapped up about 8:30 and started playing hang-man with the girls. 9:00 came... 9:15.... 9:30... it was about time that the Security Nazi from Jamaica came in and called "Nooombers tenty phrew tirty bibe".... um... HUNH???? Then she left. We all looked at each other in befuddlement. One lady (I would later vote her for leader of our tribe) went out to clarify. Yeah... numbers 20-35. More hangman. Cute tiny baby in front of us. Hangman. Drawing.... shifting in chairs. Oh... forgot one detail. I had forgotten to plug my cell phone in the night before, so it died about 8:35. But I sat and listened to people on the phone around us. I appreciated the one lady who refused to take her baby to a movie later that day because it annoys her when other people do.

10:00 - Gert has to go potty. We find it, use the potty's then go to wash our hands. There's no soap. At The Health Department.

10:15 - Small baby in front of us napping. We're playing hangman.

11:00 - Small baby crying. More hangman.

Here comes the security nazi... "Ib you habben nooombers udeerneet tirty bibe you not bein in disa womb"

Oooooo kay....

11:30 - Little girl down the row from us pukes all over her Mama. We're still playing hangman. And getting hungry.

11:45 "Noombers Tirty Shix phrew fitty." Baby leaves

12:00 - Hangman

12:30 - More hangman. We're running out of words.

12:45 "Noombers Fitty phew sebenty"

We grab our stuff! WOo HOO!!! Here we go.

To another room.

To wait more.

Did I mention that these rooms were all set to about 55 degrees. Now, I ain't complaining a whole lot because that's better than hot, but holy crud, I was SHIVERING.

At least THIS room had a tv that was making NOISE and set on a kids show.

1:00 - Wonder if Papa John's will deliver to The Health Department

1:14 - Security Nazi comes in "Dere be no eatten in disa womb"

1:30 - Look, there's our friend the little baby.

2:00 - There's 2 ladies calling numbers. One says them nice and clear. The other one mumbles.

The Security Nazi is back. "Ib you habben more dan one chile, you be needin mur deen da one noomber. YOu no gotten mur deen da one nooomber, you goottsa bring chile back amorrow and get in da line adin."

Yeah... that produced some chaos. Thank you Jesus the lady we signed in with gave us two numbers.

2:30

2:33 - Number 70! Number 70!!!

WOO HOOO!!! I go up to the desk and give the paper work and all that good stuff and am told that they'll be out to get the girls in a bit. Turns out they have to have vision and hearing tests, and Essie will have to have a second chickenpox shot.

2:45 - Consider becoming consultant for The Health Department to help them figure out the 9000 ways this could be done SO much better.

3:10 - A lady comes out and butchers Essie's real name. We're used to it. At this point they can call her mud as long as they CALL HER.

3:15 - The Ladies pass hearing tests.

3:20 - The Ladies pass vision tests.

3:25 - Essie gets shot. Doesn't cry.

3:27 - Escorted back to waiting area to wait to check out.

3:40 - Called to payment window. Plunk down $65

3:45 - Finally leave.

Seven and a half hours.

OH yeah... I think government run health care is a GREAT idea. NOT