But tomorrow I start a new job. In a new town. I don't know anyone there, and other than the 30 minutes I spent with my new boss when she interviewed me, they don't know me. I have the opportunity tomorrow to reinvent myself. I could be witty, or quiet, or demure (HA HA - yeah - neither of those 2 would last more than about an hour)... I could be a die-hard fan for a sports team I've never cared about... i could like NASCAR... I could be a quilter in the making. It's kinda weird, isn't it? I'm not even sure what to CALL myself tomorrow. Right now they call me Elizabeth. But half the people I know around these parts call me Lizzy. But Mr. B and my family call me Beth. Which one am I?
I've always been a pretty open book. Should I still be?
Are there things about me that I want to change? Is now a good time to do it?
I tend to be someone who goes out of their way to make people happy. Sometimes to my own detriment. Should I keep doing that?
Sometimes I keep things in so I don't hurt other people's feelings, but in doing so hurt them, and me, more. Should I stop doing that?
Sometimes I let the stress of what's going on in my life affect what kind of mom I am. yeah... that just needs to stop. Period.
Sometimes I get REALLY jealous of people.
Sometimes I think really bad thoughts.
Sometimes I get angry.
Sometimes I really want to eat a whole pizza. Sometimes I do it.
Sometimes I wonder why anyone would want to be a part of my life.
Sometimes I wonder why someone wouldn't want to be a part of my life.
Sometimes I think maybe I should just move to Australia.
Sometimes I get nervous thinking about tomorrow.
Sometimes I get really excited thinking about tomorrow.
I'm excited to meet new people. I'm excited to hear their stories about their lives and get to know them better. I'm excited to work in a really nice building.
I'm scared about how to pay for daycare.
I'm scared that my daughter is flunking classes.
I happy that my other daughter's teacher can't say enough good things about her.
I feel bad that my girls would compare themselves to each other.
I wish people would do what they say they're going to do.
I wish I was more patient.
I wish I had funny stuff to blog about again.
I wish I could afford to go out to lunch every day.
I hope people know I'm not a complainer.
I hope people know that I'm so appreciative to have this job, and that I'm BEYOND appreciate for the things they have done for me.
I hope people like me tomorrow.
I feel like I'm starting middle school tomorrow.
I need a new notebook or something.
This stream of consciousness blog has been brought to you by the letter B, the letter L and the number 5.
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24 comments:
I love you and they're gonna love you too. It'll all be fine you'll see.
Gosh you sound positively...human! Relax!! You are awesome. Just be yourself and everyone will love you like we do:-)
Good luck tomorrow! The best advice is to just be yourself!
They are going to love you...just like all of us do! :-) And Patti is right. Be yourself. Can't do any better than that.
They will love you, Lizzy/Beth. YOU! And you will have no problem being yourself. Maybe they are nervous about THEMselves. Maybe they have a list just like yours. You don't want them to go being all perfect and making you feel bad, do you? No. No you don't. So go. Make mistakes learning. Laugh at yourself. Apologize if you must. Forgive when you must. Have FUN!!!
Relax, and remember HE has put you there. So be you, and you will do fine!!
Just be Lizzy, be who you are. Don't try to reinvent what is already good. Have a good day on your first day at work in that fancy building. You will do great.
Be yourself. They'll love you; they can't not!! Take a deep breath. I'll be thinking of you all day tomorrow (OK - that is a lie. I'm going out for coffee with a friend and I'm sure I won't really be thinking of you then...but I'll be thinking of you SOME tomorrow)!
I hope....that you have a great day, meet lots of fabulous people, and LOVE everything about the new job!
So excited for you new job!!! And to me, you'll ALWAYS and forever be Lizzy. I can't even imagine you anything but that! Best of luck!!
I agree with Susie-
You are human..and naturally apprehensive about the changes in your life.
Stay true to yourself and have a Happy First Day!
Oh Lizzie! All the very very best for tomorrow. Which was today here, in Australia, which is such a nice place and if you ever came here, we'd have to catch up.
It's 9:44am on Monday, and your first day has already begun.
So are you Beth or Lizzy today?
Not that it matters, because both of you are awesome. A new job is always stressful, and exciting...you have so many changes in your life right now; no wonder you feel like a teenager!
Hope it all goes well today. And if it doesn't; well, tomorrow is another day.
If you really want to reinvent your self, be Eliza, Libby, or Liz. No, scratch that- don't be Liz. I never met one I liked. Be Betty instead. Personally, I love my Libby, but she also gets called Betty, Bess, and Little Bit- but only by me.
Lizzy, in all seriousness, just be you. I love you, who wouldn't?
Good luck in Middle School- I mean at your new job.
Well I missed you post yesterday but I hope you have had a wonderfull day at your new job! I think you are very funny and love reading your blog. I wish I had words of wisdom but I am dry as Lake Lanier was last summer.
I love this post. I hope it was better than you ever expected...and hope you figured out who you wanted to be today. :)
Be your awesome self! And best of luck to you.
xoxo
Lizzie,
Hi! First...your comment on my posting about my husband's death -- you are NOT bad! I was so inundated with people the first couple weeks that it was nice to come in and see your comment when I decided to see if my blog had developed any cobwebs. *smile*
Second -- CONGRATULATIONS ON THE JOB!!! I can't wait to hear you write about all the characters that you meet and of course to see their faces immortalized in sharpie as only you can do. You are right, this is a new beginning for you. Make it whatever will make you happy!
Hugs,
Rene
You are Lizzy to me. And the rest of the stuff...I think we all contemplate those things. Except that I want to move to Scotland :-)
So...how was the first day?? Did you take pictures of you in your first day of school outfit? :-)
Much luck. Breath deeply and think good thoughts. You are gonna be great!
Yeah!!!! I am so happy for you...I just know it was wonderful, just like you!!
I hope your week is going well! They must be keeping you busy! Can't wait to hear how it went.
So how did it go??
I bet everyone adored you. Did you meet some nice people?
I am sort of looking "out there" for a different job opportunity, but it also sounds a bit terrifying. ha!
Thank you for your sweet comments on my blog the other day. My daughter and I had a much improved drop-off at her daycare today. I am hoping we turned a corner. :)
I bet when you walked in that door they all thought, "What took us so long to find the wonderful, amazing YOU!?!"
You are amazing!
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