They Say It's Your Blogiversary....

It's my Blogiversary!!!!!!

Wanna guess how many years?

One?

Nope.

Two?

Nah...

Three???

Getting a little warmer.

Four?

Closer

Five?

BINGO!!

Got that? 5 years of blogging!!!! This is my 910th post!!!

February 25th, 2004 - here's my first blog:

The Spring Break trip is a done deal!! 2 days, 2 nights in exotic, tropical Indianapolis! WOO HOO!!!!!!!! Why you ask. Because my best friend is in Ohio and I'm here in Minnesota so Indianapolis is half way. And we figured since our kids will be married someday, they should finally meet. (Cause how cool will that be... at their wedding we can show pictures of when they first met.. Z with his couple teeth, Gert with none... awwwwww).

The Passion of the Christ comes out today... I don't know when I'm going to get to see it. Babysitters are so dang expensive. I'm slightly bitter that there is a showing at 1:00 pm this afternoon for "clergy" but that "church office managers" can't go. Grump.

It's amazing how good your day can look when your 5-year-old wakes up in a good mood for the first time in... um... ever!

On one of the boards I frequent there is a big discussion about the whole homosexual marriage issue. I so can't figure out where I stand on this. What does it mean to the moral fiber of our country? What does it mean to change the entire definition of an institution that has been around a dang long time? What about civil unions? Should marriage become a strictly religious thing? How do you separate church and state in this issue? What does separation of church and state mean? Oy!

Wow. Essie was 5. Gert was 9 months.

I was married. Though a perusal of my blog back then tells me it was already getting bad.

There were BAD days... and GOOD days... and years of no commenter's.

Then I wandered over to Blogger and found SITS and now quite a few people read my blog. And I feel the need to be FUNNY, and entertaining... everyday. And that's HARD. Cause some days aren't funny. Some days they don't approve your foodstamps and some days you don't get the job and some days the scale went up and some days someone unexpectedly dies and some days it's just all BAD.

I keep reading blogs of women who feel the same way. The pressure to be deep or entertaining. The pressure to make people laugh. The fear of letting people see our insides... what goes on in our minds when we're alone in the dark....

So on this day - my Blogiversary - I want to issue a challenge to whoever reads this. The next time you blog, just write. Just put out there what's in your heart. What's on your mind. What you're thinking about in the shower. What your heart is just yelling to say. Please? If you want to be funny, do... but if it's not there... don't force it... and don't be silent. Use your blog as a place to let some crap out. Do it for me... okay?

Monday afternoon, provided I filled out 3000 pieces of paper correctly, I will truly be a single woman. Growing up I never wanted to be a single woman. I FEARED it... I married the wrong man because of that fear. That being with the wrong guy was better than being alone. And so I celebrate Monday - because YEAH! look what I'm doing? I'm MAKING it on my own. But I fear Monday... because... looking what I'm doing. I'm on my own. I'm SINGLE. I'm alone again.

No - Mr. B hasn't disappeared. And we have plans. But nothing is a sure thing til it's a sure thing, right? And that's scary. My mom has been alone for 33 years. My heart starts racing just thinking about that. Dear Jesus please do not let that be me.

Ok... there's what's sitting in my heart tonight. Not funny. Not witty. Just ME.

GO.... go back to you blog and be YOU.

And come back in the next couple days for my VERY first giveaway. Oh wait... technically, my 2nd one.... if you count this.