Not as it Once Was

I had a funeral to go to this weekend as many of you know. Mr. B went with me, and Kat, Angie & Shannon also went and we caravaned over. We stopped for lunch on the way, and then stopped for supper on the way home.

Now.... let me share for you how that scenario would have gone if I were still married to my ex. I would have said I had a funeral to go to, and he would have made some sort of fuss about having to watch the girls. (Mind you, that would have been when we were STILL MARRIED). Then I would have gone and he would start calling me right after the service asking when I'd be home. And would continue to call until I got home. Now, if by SOME MIRACLE I would have gotten him to come with me, he would have complained about the drive, complained about having to meet my friends for lunch & dinner and done his damnedest to get out of it. If I had convinced him to stop, during lunch and dinner I would have sat there completely paranoid that either:

A - He would say something completely stupid.

B - One of my friends would say something he didn't like and then I would hear about it the whole way home.

C - I would say something he didn't like and then I would hear about it all the way home.

Then we would have gotten in the car and he would have ripped my friends apart and discussed every single fault he saw in them. We would have fought and by the time we got home we probably wouldn't even be talking.

That's the old way.

Here's the Mr. B way. Way back when we first learned that Richard's cancer was growing, I told him I wanted to go to Alabama to have dinner with Kori & Richard, because I wanted to meet Richard on this side of heaven. Mr. B immediately said it was a GREAT idea and to set it up. We went and had SUCH a great evening. As Richard's illness progressed, he promised me that when the time came, he would go with me to the funeral... I never even had to ask.

Wednesday morning Mr. B stopped by on his way to work. I hadn't checked my computer yet, and he left before I saw that Richard had passed away. He had been gone about 15 minutes when I saw the news. I called him right away and told him. Crying on the phone, suddenly there was a knock on the door. It was Mr. B... he had turned around to come and hold me.

Saturday morning Mr. B picked me up and we headed to Alabama. The Girls were a little ahead of us, and told us they'd stopped at a CHick-Fil-A for lunch. We stopped there too, so Mr. B met Shannon & Angie for the first time. While he didn't say a whole lot, I never ONCE had the feeling sitting there that I needed to be worried about... anything.

Having him next to me at the funeral... having him hold my hand and seeing him shed tears for OUR friend.... yeah... there aren't words for that.

After the service we met the Girls for supper, and we were all in fine form. And again, I felt SO comfortable and at ease with him there. And afterwards, all he had to say about my friends was that they were wonderful, and that he SO WISHES he could be a fly on the wall at our Estrogen Extravaganza in November. That was all. No nit picking, no putting down. Just happy that I have friends.

Happy.

That I have friends.

Not jealous. Not angry. No vindictive. Happy.

Hmmm...

So am I.