Letter to my Baby

Miss Essie,

We finally made it to 12! These last couple days have been killers.

11 was quite a year wasn't it? Starting middle school. Starting to notice boys. Growing up.

You know what? You weren't handed the easy deck of cards. By a long shot. And despite what Ellen says, I can't promise that "It Gets Better"... but I can promise you that whatever path your life takes, I will be right there beside you, cheering you on, helping you when you need it, letting you make your own mistakes when you need to. Loving you every single step of the way.

I'm so proud of you. You're starting to show some real signs of maturing. I can actually see signs that maybe you and your sister won't fight for the rest of your lives. We've had some amazing conversations lately. The way you see the world is wonderful.

I do have to interject this one little story though... for posterity and to point to later in your life. We were sitting down to our "modified" Thanksgiving meal. You ate the turkey and veggies and the rolls, and wanted another roll. I told you that since you had stuffing, you didn't need more bread. A few minutes later I looked and there was still a big pile of stuffing on your plate. I asked why you weren't eating it and you said it was "bland and boring"... which was so weird cause you generally love it. But you just insisted you didn't like it. So... I didn't force it. Then you asked if you could have more bread, and I said yes since you weren't eating the stuffing. I then got into some sort of conversation with your sister, and next thing I knew you were eating your stuffing. "Hey - I thought you didn't like that," I said. You said "I do like it. I just conned you so I could get more bread."

Yeah... on the outside I had to give you a lecture on how that wasn't right and all that, but I gotta tell you, inside I was laughing so hard. Cause you are ONE FREAKING SMART COOKIE. I know you don't believe that, buy you ARE.

12 is going to be an interesting year sweetie. Who knows what it will look like a year from now looking back. But I know one thing, I'll be right there with you the whole way, loving you every minute.

Happy Birthday Baby. Thank you for making me a Mommy.