Cause that's what you could bowl me over with right now. I sent the Ladies dad and e-mail proposing a Holiday schedule (which was MORE than fair I might add). He responded via chat that it looked good but he'd have to check with his mother (he lives with her - she's older and has breast cancer so we don't want to wear her out).
As we were chatting, we got to talking about Essie, and how... hard things are for her. School, social life, etc. He then said:
I feel like we need to find something that she like and is good at and just encourage the heck out of her to do it and be good at it, to me she lacks any confidence in herself at all.
Um..... wow. Yes. I totally agreed. We do need to find something she can be successful at.
And then he said:
I also feel that I am mostly to blame and all the stuff she has gone thru, but we need to find something some way to boost her self confidence.
Oh... my.... word. He said it. He took ownership for it. Sadly it doesn't fix it for her. But for Mr. It's-Never-My-Fault... this is huge. And he's even seeing that comparing her to her sister isn't going to help... and expecting her to fit into a mold that she doesn't fit in isn't going to work. We had to adjust the mold a bit.
Wow. He's got a long way to go, but I am so happy he took this step.
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
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12 comments:
And maybe, just maybe, it is the first tiny step to healing the world of hurt between them. We can hope.
Let's hope this is just the first step and that he truly "gets it" now!
Wow! There is hope!
Perhaps HE is growing up too! I'm impressed!
Praying he continues on this enlightened path and helps both girls find the confidence in themselves they'll need for the rest of their lives. Little girls always need praise and love from their daddies no matter what age.
um... wow. I feel like I'm maybe going to cry a little bit for you and for Essie. That is just so huge.
It would have taken all the strength I could have mustered to not yell into the skype mike, "FACE! YEAH!"
But I'm kinda petty like that. ;-)
AWESOME first step. Glad he ponied up and took it.
Maybe I'm an optimist, but I guess I feel like you're such a good person that you couldn't possibly have married someone who was completely bad. That even if he is sometimes (oftentimes, nearly always) a real shit, that deep down he's an okay person. And that eventually he'll do the right thing for his daughters. Here's hoping this is just the beginning.
WOW!!! I am tearing up as we speak. Now if he can just have this talk with her. She needs to see that he is owning up to it! I am praying he will continue on this path and that this was not just a one time thing.
And she does fit the mold. The one God made especially for her. I love that zany girl of yours.
That.Is.Awesome.
God's handiwork, for sure. Could he feel God's hand on the back of his shoulder, nudging him along, do you think?
Heather, maybe it was around his neck squeezing it out of him:)
It would be very much a blessing if she and her daddy could have a normal daddy daughter relationship.
That IS a huge step. I hope it helps! :)
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